Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Pure Love

by Meghann on September 2, 2014

First, I need to wish my mom and Aunt Liz a very happy 50th birthday.

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I know, I can’t believe they’re 50 either. They look fabulous, right?

Derek and I were in Titusville this weekend celebrating my mom’s birthday. The whole crew was in town, including my twin brother – who flew all the way from California with his girlfriend for the event! – and the latest little addition: Owen.

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We’re officially a party of 11 and I’m pretty sure my parents couldn’t be happier about that fact. We didn’t do much all weekend – just dinner on Saturday night and a trip to the bowling ally on Sunday (unfortunately the guys killed the girls in both games) – but it was absolutely perfect just spending time together as a family. We haven’t all been together since November and it was nice to just relax and hang out just like we used to.

Admittedly, I was a little nervous meeting Owen this weekend. Though I knew I loved Owen with every ounce of my being, I just wasn’t sure I was emotionally ready to meet him. There was a baby shower at my office last Thursday and I ended up locking myself in the bathroom for a self-induced pity party. It was just too much for me to handle at that time, and it broke my heart that I couldn’t be there to congratulate my co-worker. Just walking by the decorations made me hyperventilate and sent me in a downward spiral. I hated it, but the feelings of loss and grief were just too raw.

I was afraid I’d have the same reaction with Owen. I was scared I would start hyperventilating and I didn’t want my first meeting with my beautiful nephew to be like that. I even stalled when I got to the house, not even asking about him. It was my mom that gently nudged me to get over the hump. She grabbed my hand, led me upstairs and introduced me to Owen without any hesitation.

My sister had just finished feeding Owen and handed him over. I held him and everything just clicked. There was no urge to hyperventilate, no urge to breakdown over what might have been, and no remorse. There was only love – pure, amazing love. I had a surge of it and calmed every muscle in my body. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen a more beautiful baby in my life – he’s perfect in every way.

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I held Owen for a good 30 minutes while my sister and brother-in-law got ready for dinner. I didn’t want to stop holding him, and latched onto every opportunity I had all weekend to have him in my arms. He’s the perfect combination of my sister and brother-in-law. So sweet, calm, and loveable. Even Maddie couldn’t get enough of Owen.

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She was so curious of this little creature. She just wanted to sniff and lick.

The whole weekend away was actually really good for both Derek and I. Never underestimate the power of family. We smiled a lot – real, genuine smiles that reminded me we’re going to be okay. Everything will be okay. It was hard to say good-bye. I miss all of  them already.

Now it’s time to buckle down. We’re moving this weekend. Well technically Derek is moving us while I’m out of town for work. Husband-of-the-year decided he could handle it on his own – more power to him. I leave on Thursday and I’ll return to a new house on Monday. Whoa. Craziness.

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