more »" />

Do Not Call Me Weak

by Meghann on January 19, 2012

Rule #1 of the gym: Never tell a woman she’ll never be as strong as a man.

An older gentleman failed miserably at the rule this morning. I know he didn’t mean any harm and was just trying to strike up a casual conversation, but there was something about the way he casually stated this fact that kind of irked me.

I was at the pull-up bar working on my set of negative chin-ups for NROLFW stage 6A when the man approached me to say hi. We’ve interacted at the gym before, so it was no big deal. When he asked me what I was up to – and I told him about the negative chin-ups – he sort of tilted his head and asked for my age. I told him almost 27 (my birthday is February 8th).

He paused, squinted his eyes, and gave this look like he was thinking really hard before stating very matter of factly that I was almost the same age as his eldest son, who recently turned 28. Oh, that’s nice. Another person in their late twenties. Cool. I expected to hear a cute story in relation to this, but nope. Instead he simply said that no matter how hard I work I’ll never be able to do as many pull ups as his son or be as strong as his son. Umm… what?

I know that my body is built much differently than his son’s body or any other man’s body – you don’t have to remind me – but the way he then proceeded to go on for ten minutes on just why I’ll never be able to do as many pull ups or how his wife can’t lift the big trees without his help because she’s a woman (what?) or how I’ll only get muscles is if I take steroids, really got under my skin. The way he just read his facts so casually (all the while saying ‘Hi Sweetie” with a big smile to any girl he knew that walked by) just pissed me off.

Yes, I’ll probably never do as many pull ups as your son, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll never be able to do any pull ups at all. And just because I’m a female doesn’t mean I’m weak. I don’t need a man to help me lift heavy stuff or move it around, I can figure it out on my own if I have to. I don’t want big muscles, I just want to be strong and healthy. I’m not at the gym to prove anything to anyone else, but to myself. Grrr…

His ‘you’re weak because you’re a woman and I’m strong because I’m a man’ attitude really had my blood boiling and had me pushing just a tad bit harder during the rest of my workout. Part of me was tempted to challenge him in a race. You’re stronger, huh? Well, who’s faster? I would also love for my sister to challenge his son in a pull up contest. I might not be able to do a full pull up on my own yet, but my sister can do several in a row. She may be a girl, but I know she can kick a lot of guys’ butts in the pull up department. Sometimes it’s not about man versus woman, sometimes it about who works harder.

Ahhhh…..

I’m sorry. I had to rant here because I was too nice to rant to him. I simply smiled and nodded and turned away from the conversation. He really is a sweet guy, just not when it comes to telling a woman they’re weak. :/

I finished my workout and headed straight home for breakfast. I reached the bottom of a jar of honey peanut butter yesterday and had a jar of overnight oats waiting for me in the fridge.

IMG_5857.JPG

In the mix:

  • Last bit of honey peanut butter
  • 1/2 cup rolled oats
  • Plain Chobani
  • Milk
  • Walnuts
  • Raisins
  • Chia seeds
  • Cinnamon

On top:

  • Kashi Cinnamon Go Lean Crisp
  • Strawberries
  • Blueberries

IMG_5855.JPG

I love the fun peanut butter patterns you always get at the bottom of the jar.

IMG_5853.JPG

The Kashi Cinnamon Go Lean Crisp is a new addiction in the house. I have to stop myself from constantly returning to the box for little handfuls through the day. It’s just so good. I think it’s the cinnamon, I seem to find myself more obsessed with cinnamon cereals more than any other cereal.

IMG_5858.JPG

Maddie has her follow up appointment with the vet at lunchtime. Her feet look so much better now that we’ve been wiping them more and switched her food. Here’s hoping for good news from the vet!

1 Jessica @ Sushi and Sit-Ups January 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

I can definitely see how that got your blood boiling! Seriously, what year is it? Unfortunately, at this point in his life, he’ll probably never change his ways. I wonder how his wife can stand it. Way to channel your frustruation into your workout. It would have been very difficult for me to not lose my cool!
Jessica @ Sushi and Sit-Ups recently posted..On the calendar

2 Kristen (inspiredbydooce) January 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

Just to play devil’s advocate (obviously I wasn’t there and I don’t know the tone of the comment or conversation)- do you think he was trying to make you feel better about having to “work up to” pull ups? Or make you feel like it is ok that they are harder because our bodies are built differently?

Obviously some women can out-lift or out-strength some men. But when it comes to “feats of strength” we are definitely not created equal (much to my chagrin) but we definitely can kick some serious butt at the gym. We just kick butt a little differently.
Kristen (inspiredbydooce) recently posted..11 randoms

3 Meghann January 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

Oh, I know we are not created equal and there’s no doubt that his son is stronger than me, it’s just the way he said it so casually, so 1950s, that threw me off. Another thing was that the comment was out of no where. I told him I was working on negative chin up and he went on about how weak women are. I was a little shocked actually at it.

4 Kristen (inspiredbydooce) January 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

Yeah- a comment like that out of nowhere is always a little shocking. I just thought I’d throw out another option just in case, but it sounds like you probably read that right.
At least it made you work harder throughout your workout 🙂
Kristen (inspiredbydooce) recently posted..11 randoms

5 Jessica January 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

Wow, I never really leave comments on blogs, but I have to let you know that you handled the situation much more gracefully than I would have.

6 Laurie January 19, 2012 at 10:24 am

Oh I hate that!!! At least you were nice about it to him, I might of told him to mind his own business!!! :), Glad Maddie is better, can I ask you what kind of dog food you’re giving her? My doxie has allergies and the ones the vet suggested or at petsmart are not helping him at all. I just want to see if its something different that what I’ve be giving him. Thanks!

7 Samantha Angela @ Bikini Birthday January 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

Bullshit.
I’d like this guy to come to my gym and watch me squat more weight than most of the men there because that acutally happens all the time.
What an asshole!

Guys like that make me so mad and it’s one of the reasons that I try to avoid any conversation with guys at the gym. It seems like the chatty ones are the most misogynistic.

8 Victoria (District Chocoholic) January 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

It is true that as a group, women have a more difficult time adding muscle mass and gaining strength than men. However, if you understand population distributions, you know that there is overlap between stronger women and weaker men. So to say that a given woman will never be as strong as a given man is ridiculous and ignorant. This common misinterpretation is why I love being able to military press more weight than a lot of the guys who go to my gym.

As for athletic achievements in general – I run faster than my boyfriend at any race distance, and he thinks it is awesome. He likes to chase me.
Victoria (District Chocoholic) recently posted..Cranberry Bark: Two Types of Chocolate and Two Types of Cranberry

9 Lindsey January 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

Wow, I hate gym comments like that. One time I was running on the treadmill and had a man who was WALKING next to me tell me I needed to correct my form. He had never run a marathon but his son had and if I could “correct my form” I could run a marathon too. I told him I had already run a marathon and two halfs and got through just fine!

10 Lauren January 19, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Wow – that would make me furious! Good response!

11 SaraRM January 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

Working in a gym I see/hear those looks and comments all the time. It really does bug me but I just laugh at it now. They may have bigger muscles (most of the time supplement enhanced) but I find comfort that on any given day I could kick their a** running.

12 Katie @ Peace Love & Oats January 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

That was so rude!!! I mean, what was his point, to make you feel bad about yourself, to make himself feel better because he’s a man!!?? That’s crazy! btw, those oats look amazing!
Katie @ Peace Love & Oats recently posted..Workout Plan

13 Shannon @ Mon Amour January 19, 2012 at 10:31 am

I hate people who think women can’t be strong! I used to be able to kick all my guy friends butts when I was in my best shape. Guys are just threatened by strong women and they need to get over it
Shannon @ Mon Amour recently posted..Inspired By the Olympic Marathon Trials

14 Racheal @ Running with Racheal January 19, 2012 at 10:33 am

The older gentlemen at the gym used to time my runs on the indoor track as they walked. If my pace decreased at all, they would be sure to let me know. ha!

15 Karen @ Run Shop Travel January 19, 2012 at 10:34 am

I have to give you credit for being so calm with that guy; I probably would have said something or ended the conversation before he got that far! What do some people think about!?!
Karen @ Run Shop Travel recently posted..How to Fight a Cold

16 Kasandra January 19, 2012 at 10:34 am

He needs to exercise his brain as he has no common sense. I don’t understand what his point was by making that comment. What purpose did it serve? I get that he was just trying to make conversation and didn’t mean to offend you and he’s a really nice guy, but in the end, his comment (and his 10 minute spew afterwards) was offensive. You go to the gym for you – you go to be healthy and strong – for you. Not for him, not for anyone else. I am sorry you had to deal with that this morning. Gross.

17 Rachel January 19, 2012 at 10:36 am

Maybe it’s just a regional thing, but if anyone here in CO called me “sweetie” who wasn’t my boyfriend, I would be pretty irritated.

What a rude thing for that man to say. Clearly you’re just there to do your workout and enjoy it, not to hear one man’s defeated opinion. Sounds like he needs lessons in both physiology AND etiquette.
Rachel recently posted..90 MPH

18 Denisse @I Love Rice and Beans January 19, 2012 at 10:40 am

What a Jerk! I have grown up with Machismo my entire life, especially from my own family. Thinking that Men are better than women and women are only made for housework and raising children. That is such BS. I have never let it define who I am, I am sorry that you had to encounter that while working on yourself at the gym. Comments like that are so inappropriate. I hope that he is not there next time you go but I agree you handled it very well.
Denisse @I Love Rice and Beans recently posted..Broken Down

19 Sneakers2sandals January 19, 2012 at 10:41 am

Hah. Ya well you’re a lot stronger than a lot of men who don’t go to the gym. And this is exactly why my mantra is ‘you go girl’. Thinking about being faster than a guy gets me going. Only bc of their attitudes like that guy.
Sneakers2sandals recently posted..Going Bananas!

20 greenbean January 19, 2012 at 10:41 am

Sounds very similar to my friend’s reaction to me purchasing a pull-up bar. He says they are really hard to do….and you can just tell he was saying I shouldn’t bother making the purchase. I know they are hard and I want to get back into shape. Believe it or not, I used to be able to crank out a few solo unassisted pull ups!

21 Liz January 19, 2012 at 10:42 am

I have heard this same rant so many times from my friends, and I’ve totally participated in it too. I think there is just something about a strong woman at a gym that bring out the weirdest comments. There is an older woman at my gym who started talking to me a while back. I had lost some weight and was ramping up my workouts and one day she felt it was appropriate to tell me that now that I’d lost some weight, I could find myself “a husband to settle down with so you don’t have to work anymore.” I had to bite my lip to keep from responding to that comment. These types of things really get my blood boiling too, but I think I just need to chalk it up to a different generation and lack of tact…some people just don’t have it!
Liz recently posted..Exercise Guilt

22 Meg January 19, 2012 at 10:42 am

Woah… that’s totally uncalled for and inappropriate. You handled it really well, though. Honestly, I wish more people would simply refrain from commenting about others’ workouts. Last week, I got dressed at my gym before heading outside to run 6 miles. When I came back, I ran into a co-worker at the water fountain and he said, “Have a good workout.” I did a few ab moves and then went to grab my stuff. He saw me leaving with my bag and said, “Wow, that was fast. You’re done working out already?” It really ticked me off because I had already run 6 miles! Why did he feel the need to say ANYTHING?! Ugh.

Also, kind of funny, but I realized my boyfriend and I have the exact same anniversary as you and Derek (we just celebrated three years of dating after several years of will-we-won’t-we-friendship at college, too!) and you and my bf have the same birthday. Really, really random coincidences!

23 Lena @Fit on the Rocks January 19, 2012 at 10:42 am

Wow..way to be the bigger person! I probably would have flipped out and caused a lot of unwanted attention to be drawn to me. Nice or not, those kinds of comments really get under my skin.
Lena @Fit on the Rocks recently posted..Meals with No Excuses

24 Liz @ Tip Top Shape January 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

This guy sounds like a major wack-a-doo. How does insulting someone pass as polite conversation? Yeesh.
Liz @ Tip Top Shape recently posted..The Beginning of the End

25 Amanda January 19, 2012 at 10:45 am

I hate when men just assume you can’t do something because you are a woman! I own a house by myself and last summer I decided to put in a paver patio. I rented a mechanical tamper and when I was returning it a group of construction guys were kind of looking at me like I was crazy. They asked me why “a lady like me” would needed a mechanical tamper instead of just a hand tamper and I told them I was putting in a patio on my own and wanted to save the time. They kind of chuckled and asked how big of a “patio” I was doing, thinking I was putting in a small little sidewalk or something. I kindly smiled back and replied a 14′ x 20′ patio. They all stopped chuckling and replied “Oh. That’s a big patio” with looks of shock on their faces. I laughed to myself as I replied “Yes, it is” and walked out. It was great!

26 marisa January 19, 2012 at 10:56 am

that idiot obviously never met a female rock climber before.

27 Shann January 19, 2012 at 11:06 am

I would take that as a compliment. lol

28 Cat @Breakfast to Bed January 19, 2012 at 11:10 am

Next time you see him, tell him to to shove a living, breathing, human being out of his dick without drugs, and then proceed to let said human chow down on his man boob until his useless nipple is bleeding, do it again another 10x that day, and then come back and talk to you about strength.

29 Amy January 19, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Ha!!

30 Cat @Breakfast to Bed January 19, 2012 at 11:10 am

sorry to be so harsh, I just get irritated.
Cat @Breakfast to Bed recently posted..Eating Too Much Fiber at Oktoberfest

31 Leanne @ The Skinny Architect January 19, 2012 at 11:22 am

Ah yes, the gender stereotype, my favorite (not!). I love it when people voice their opinions that are super insulting and just act like it was no big deal.

I had an older gentleman (say, um, 85 or so) stop me in the college bookstore once while he was buying some architecture supplies. He was very nice, asking me questions about what he would need for a particular project. At that time, I was a third year student and he was in first year. Sure, nice old man, I’d love to help you. Until he started telling me about how he resented his dead wife because he always wanted to be an architect and she made him get a job to support their kids so he couldn’t make his dream a reality. He was basically just waiting for her to die so he could go back to college and get his degree. It was the most awkward conversation ever. EVER. I didn’t know how to feel walking away from that, but I was not loving him, or his bad feelings toward his dead wife. While I’m not sure what relevance this story had, it seemed to fit into this somehow. 🙂
Leanne @ The Skinny Architect recently posted..Restaurant Review: Bite Bistro

32 Ari @ Ari's Menu January 19, 2012 at 11:23 am

I have like third party anger!!! I feel like we have progressed a lot as a society in our feelings about gender and strength, but there are still so many old schoolers and closed minded people out there that just don’t get it. The sad part is that he wasn’t even trying to be a jerk (at least that’s how it sounds) and is really just that ignorant. I can’t wait until you can do lots of pull ups and he walks by and catches it!
Ari @ Ari’s Menu recently posted..Check, Next?

33 Faith @ For the Health of It January 19, 2012 at 11:29 am

Ugh – what a tool!

I love challenging guys at the gym to a quick round of “crow pose”. Call me weak and I’ll call you out right back – go ahead and watch, I’m just gonna go ahead and support my entire body weight on my two hands…YOUR TURN!
Faith @ For the Health of It recently posted..Comment on New York City: The Food by Holly

34 Mallory @ Have your cake January 19, 2012 at 11:32 am

agh, that wouldve had my blood boiling too. you should have asked him if his son has run marathons or has done any ironman races. ha.
Mallory @ Have your cake recently posted..The Day I Ate 10 Pancakes for Lunch

35 Marie January 19, 2012 at 11:43 am

Yeah, those comments suck. I can kind of see where he was coming from. You have almost no muscle definition, so to him maybe he was trying to be nice in his own way. A weird way, no less.

36 Life's a Bowl January 19, 2012 at 11:48 am

Gah, I am in need of a good venting session about a gym encounter myself! Short story, a guy tried to nicely tell me that I should get plastic surgery to fix the two melanoma scars on my leg… And unfortunately, I’ve bumped into him twice since the first encounter and he smiles, says “hi,” asks how my day is etc., and thinks we’re pals now… Little does he know, he’s on my “do not make eye contact with, avoid at all costs or else I may explode” list [it’s a new list, he’s the only one on it haha]!

37 Lauren January 19, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Wow, that’s terrible. If that really bothered you – and it sounds like it did – I’d urge you to report his behavior to the manager of your gym. No one has the right to make an unsolicited comment about your body, whether or not it was intended to be friendly or helpful.

38 Katie January 19, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Oddly, I was just having a similar conversation with a coworker this morning in the locker room after our workout. Someone had said something similar to her yesterday. I believe her response was something like “Women aren’t strong. Try having kids.”

39 Amy January 19, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Men stronger than women?? One word: Childbirth.

40 Kim February 9, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Amen

41 Christine January 19, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Wow, nothing makes me want to prove someone wrong than being told, “you can’t do that because you’re a girl.” In high school, during chemistry class, one of the huge, “tough” football players was talking smack about how many push-ups he could do (claiming he could do 50 without stopping), I figured he was full of it and challenged him right back (note: i was in peak training for gymnastics season, lifting weights, and doing martial arts). He got to about 20 before he couldn’t maintain form. I decimated him with 35 perfect push-ups. Our teacher, an older man probably in his late 60’s early 70’s then decimated both of us by doing the full 50 push-ups, but never the less, I made my point to the meathead!

42 deva at deva by definition January 19, 2012 at 12:05 pm

I’ve never been in that situation before – but I can say that I think you handled it gracefully. All of the men at my gym – at least in the past – have been very encouraging of my weight lifting. I just had to maintain a no-nonsense attitude about it when in the weight areas – no intimidation!

Being able to squat 180 helped a lot, I’m sure, but I didn’t start there.
deva at deva by definition recently posted..Taking a Step Back: SOPA

43 RunEatRepeat January 19, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Did you tell him his son will never be able to squeeze a baby out of a hole in his body?
RunEatRepeat recently posted..Craving Cinnamon Toast

44 Courtney January 19, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Hahaha!!! Awesome reply and so true!

45 Dani January 19, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Obviously I agree with you and I just want to point out that you wrote that section of the post really, really well!

46 Gina January 19, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Ugh I don’t even know how I would respond to that guy if I was you. I would be too shocked that he’s such an a-hole haha! I weight 95 lbs and can deadlift 125 and squat 100. There are so many more women who can do more than me; it’s amazing! If he doesn’t call that strong, then he’s blind.

47 Lindsey January 19, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I can totally relate to this story and have had many a comment thrown at me not only because I’m a female, but also because I’m not ‘built’ like a runner or a green-belt karate student. My favorite was “You don’t look like you could run 1 mile, let alone 13.” the night before my 8th half marathon by a drunken fool.
I wish you HAD something to that guy. Smiling and nodding is just giving him permission to continue to tell (and treat) all women that they’re inferior.
Would you change his mind or opinion that his son is stronger than you, probably not but maybe it would have been an eye-opener to him that it’s not acceptable to speak to people in such a manner. Yes he’s old and it’s an antiquated stereotype, but it doesn’t mean you can’t try to enlighten him. If he approaches you again, I seriously encourage you to say something! Tell him you’ve run a, like, million marathons and completed a half ironman. Tell him you don’t appreicate those comments and find them unneccessary and inappropriate. It’s a much more constructive approach than telling him off in your head for hours.

48 Stacy W. January 19, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Being a public librarian in a community with a lot of older folks, I know first hand how frustrating comments like this can be. Granted, I usually don’t get challenged on my physical strength, but I’ve had older men tell me that my husband should have gotten me knocked up by now or that I’m too pretty to be smart, all kinds of stupid stuff like that.

The sad fact is that it’s pure ignorance. Calling them on it won’t make them change their minds. I think you handled it beautifully.

And that’s also one of the reasons why I try to look as surly as possible when I’m at the gym ; )

49 Laura January 19, 2012 at 12:37 pm

ugh this is so frustrating! you handled the situation very well, though. I definitely would have had my choice of words with him.

A few years ago, I was working out at the gym in the free weight section. I had put together a circuit workout, and one guy had the nerve to come over to me in the middle of my workout, tap me on the shoulder, and ask “what are you doing? are you training for something? you sure are lifting a lot of weights.” seriously? girls can’t lift weights? this is why i love the whole “strong is beautiful” movement happening right now – gotta get it into people’s heads that women can lift weights, be strong & healthy, too!

50 Emily January 19, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I gotta be honest. I can do 10. Real, unassisted. I know MANY men who cannot. I just don’t think that’s true! And guess what? No steroids here, AND I don’t look huge or manly at all!

That’s so frustrating. I’m sorry you had to experience that.
Emily recently posted..A dinner – with a few remaining questions

51 Lauren January 19, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I know it may be a generational thing, but dispensing ‘advice’ like this – and calling every woman who crosses his path ‘sweetie’ – is straight-up sexist. It’s not 1958 anymore, so he needs to wise up and act accordingly.

52 Annette @ EnjoyYourHealthyLife January 19, 2012 at 12:41 pm

UGHHH I hate when men pull that card. REALLY?! Well let’s see who can mutli-task better 🙂 hehe

I think I would be so mad too–glad you didn’t get into a fight though 😉
Annette @ EnjoyYourHealthyLife recently posted..Comparing To Others + Thankful Thursday

53 Jen @ Whittle My Middle January 19, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Wow that’s kind of ironic that he went on about that when NROLFW is all about women lifting like men in the weight room and to get over the stigma of women lifting weaker weights in the gym.
Jen @ Whittle My Middle recently posted..Quick But Effective

54 Courtney January 19, 2012 at 1:09 pm

A comment a little off topic from the rest…I absolutely love Go Lean Crisp. I can’t get it in the town where I live so my mom buys me a box whenever she comes to visit!

55 Cait's Plate January 19, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Oh man that would’ve driven me INSANE!!!

Overnight oats in an almost-empty nut butter jar = best breakfast ever. 🙂
Cait’s Plate recently posted..White Blanket

56 Kris @ Trying To Tri January 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

What is it with crazy people at the gym lately? This is the third or fourth blog I’ve read lately where people (MEN) have made crazy rude or insensitive remarks to women as they work out. Nuts! Is it a January thing?

I see guys at the gym working out, then standing outside after smoking – really? DUH! But do I say anything? No – their business, their health, their choice. Why I come to the gym is MY business, my reason, my choice. And I pay my dues too, so that means I have the right to be there too.

As for Mr. Stuck in the 1950s… You did great just ignoring him. I hope I’d have done the same (although I seem to present as pretty aloof, so rarely have to deal with the chatty types).

I really have to get a copy of NROLFW – your results photos have me convinced!
Kris @ Trying To Tri recently posted..Proof that Sugar is a Trigger Food! And a Good Run

57 Lindsay @ Running the Windy City January 19, 2012 at 1:26 pm

UGH! So frustrating! You have every right to rant about it.

I have never had anyone actually challenge me at the gym like that but there is one man who often runs at the same time as me and he is really competitive. He always looks over at my treadmill to check the speed/distance I’m running. I don’t understand why the gym has to be competitive!
Lindsay @ Running the Windy City recently posted..{Numbers}

58 Talia @ Bite Size Wellness January 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Oh my gosh! Who says that to a complete stranger? I don’t know if I could have been as nice as you did and just turn away…a race battle sounds so much better! Most people are so distant at the gym, so I am just shocked! Good for you for ranting on your wonderful blog instead of to his face.
P.S. Your peanut butter oats concoction looks fantastic!
Talia @ Bite Size Wellness recently posted..Ch-ch-ch-Chia: Sneaking Chia Seeds into your Diet

59 Lindsay @ biking before bed January 19, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I am mad for you just reading this! I hate when guys think they own the gym. I am proud of being strong. Do I look like Arnold? No but my strength works for me! I helped my friend Ryan move a few weeks ago and he was impressed by the heavy boxes I could lift… I was on cloud 9. Also being strong doesn’t equal being fit. I hate when I see guys with huge upper bodies and beer guts. I don’t consider that to be the picture of health.

60 Laure Rnee January 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Wow, that would have irritated me too. Who is he to say something like that? It just goes to show how times have changed. Some of the older generation still believe that us women should need a man to depend on. What did he want your reaction to be? that is what I want to know? He had to know that what he said wouldn’t be something you really wanted to hear…right??

61 Jana @ Newly Wife Healthy Life January 19, 2012 at 2:01 pm

You handled that very politely. It’s hard enough for women to build up enough confidence to go to the weights section, we don’t need anyone (men or women) to basically tell us we shouldn’t be there.
Jana @ Newly Wife Healthy Life recently posted..A Fishy Situation

62 Hillary January 19, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Who SAYS these things to people? I mean it. Even if they’re thinking it, even if they believe it, who actually SAYS it? What purpose did that comment have EXCEPT to piss you off? Gah.
Hillary recently posted..Going The Distance

63 Poptartyogini January 19, 2012 at 2:11 pm

No one should make comments about anyone anywhere regardless of gender. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Very classy to bite your tongue. I bet that was hard!

64 Angela @ Happy Fit Mama January 19, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Why do people feel they need to give their opinion on everything? No one asked!
Angela @ Happy Fit Mama recently posted..9.5 mph and Kiddie Personal Trainers

65 Courtney January 19, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Oh, that would have gotten under my skin too! I’m a cheerleader and I know some guys (ok, many guys) who could never do the things I can do. You are strong, healthy, and oh so smart… don’t let one rude gym guy get you down! 🙂
Courtney recently posted..Oh, How Pinteresting!

66 lindsey January 19, 2012 at 2:44 pm

that’s stupid. i can do 13 dead hang pull-ups and am a 22 year old female. took a lot of work but what doesn’t?

67 Annie January 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm

In middle school, PE always included a week of national fitness tests. We had to do the sit and stretch, run a certain amount, do a certain number of crunches, etc. One of the items was pull-ups. Everyone in your group would stand around the bar and count how many everyone could do. Most girls could not do one, a few boys could do multiple. Our star, though, was Rachel. Rachel was a gymnast and could easily band out 10+ pull ups at a time. It always seemed to annoy our male gym teacher that a girl ALWAYS won the pull-up challenge. It just made us happy. 🙂

68 jen January 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm

i’m not a polite person, but i would have politely told him to please go fuck himself with the ez bar. there, i can’t lift like a man, but i sure as fuck can swear like one.

69 Bridget January 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Reading this got me so angry!! The generational/gender gap issue is the worst. I get it as a civil engineer all the time…usually it’s the “good for you!” comment when I tell them what I do, sometimes ‘you don’t look like the typical engineer’…I dont know whether to take that one as a compliment haha.
Oh and at Crossfit, I see girls who can smoke some of the guys in pull-ups. I’m sure I would of held it to myself too though. Its one of those situations where you wish you could go back and actually say whats on your mind.

70 Coco January 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm

How rude! Damn straight chicks are strong! I can do pull ups and chin ups (sure I can’t do more than a few in a row) I deal with stereotypes all the time at work because as a waitress I have to be a moron apparently… it’s really annoying and just frustrating- but hey just getting it off your chest is therapeutic!

71 Summer T. January 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Could you please tell me where you found Cinnamon Kashi? 🙂 Love me some Kashi!

72 Meghann January 19, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Target! The Kashi cereals were all on sale over the weekend and they had all the new flavors! 🙂

73 Summer T. January 19, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Saweet, I see a Target run coming up!

74 Michelle @ A Healthy Mrs January 19, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Ugh that makes me so angry! How rude! You definitely handled it better than I would have…
Michelle @ A Healthy Mrs recently posted..Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

75 Cinnamon @eatpraytri January 19, 2012 at 4:59 pm

That is so ridiculous that he did that. So condescending and rude. Good job handling the situation, I don’t know what I would have done. Ugh.
On a side note, everyone seems to be talking about Cinnamon today. Must be something in the air? Or maybe just that all things Cinnamon is so awesome? Yup, definitely that. 😉
Cinnamon @eatpraytri recently posted..Snow Day round two

76 kristin January 19, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I would be sooo annoyed!! It’s sad but I get those comments all the time since I joined the army…though my favorite comment was that “women belong in the home and people like you who think you’re strong and independent are the reason for the downfall of society.” Umm…ok.

77 Kelly January 19, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Maybe I missed this part of the story, but did you say anything back? I hope so. As interesting as it is to bring this issue up on the blog and as much as I’m sure it is helpful to hear that so many women agree, it seems like a missed opportunity if you didn’t say what you wrote here back to him.

It sounds like he had no problem being honest with you so why not be honest back? It seems like if he goes around spouting off these things to you that he probably does so to a lot of other women as well and expressing some dissent could help him realize that it’s not okay and that regardless of whether it is true or not, reiterating that doesn’t help anyone. I personally probably would have been polite about it and let him that regardless of the facts, those kinds of conversations come across as misogynistic.
Kelly recently posted..Crab Salad BLT

78 Meghann January 19, 2012 at 10:24 pm

I didn’t have it in me to say anything back. It was after he walked away that what he said really got to me. I should have spoke up more, but I was also pretty shocked, almost dumbfounded that he would say that.

79 tami January 19, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I am sure he didn’t mean to offend u (and now me) but why would someone say that

and maybe one day in will be strong, you might actually be faster than his son!!!!

and just for the record I can do more “real” push ups than several of my guy friends. in fact,I had a fitness assessment at the gym the other day and I did the ost USB ups of any women EVER…I did 22

80 sarah January 19, 2012 at 9:41 pm

i spy a smuckers peanut butter jar.. MY FAVORITE!
sarah recently posted..Three Meals

81 Amanda January 19, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Why would anybody say that??? It just sounds RUDE.

82 Aimee January 19, 2012 at 10:47 pm

What an asshat. He was just intimidated by you though. Anyone that insults other people does it to prop themselves up. Even worse, he wasnt even comparing himself to you, he was using his son! Now tell me that ain’t insecurrrrr!

83 Chelsea January 20, 2012 at 9:18 am

How RUDEEE! That man sounds incredibly sexiest it’s pathetic. I would’ve gone off if it was myself personally haha just because I’m a very argumentative person when people say such negative things. I’m really proud of you for holding your tongue and being able to lash out only on your blog! That takes STRENGTH of the mind right there.

84 Janine @ThePurpleGiraffe January 20, 2012 at 11:47 am

Some people have a lot of nerve. It constantly surprises me. (shakes head).

85 Monica C. January 20, 2012 at 1:13 pm

You should have asked him how many pull-ups *he* could do, LOL.
Monica C. recently posted..Musings

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: