We made it to 19 weeks. Baby R is now the size of a mango.
Still not sure on whether I’m feeling movement or not. I feel “bubbles” when I’m sitting still or laying on the couch, but it’s not very regular. I *think* it’s Baby R, but I have no way to know for sure. I’ll keep you posted on any developments.
This week the subject of body image has hit me hard. I was hoping to go through pregnancy falling absolutely in love with my new pregnancy body and beautiful baby bump, but I’m afraid that’s not reality. The truth is it’s a lot harder to gain weight than I had initially anticipated. We all have this vision of our bumps being the only body part that grows during pregnancy, but then our breasts become almost comical, our backsides start to expand, and our faces don’t look like they belong to us anymore.
My husband took some photos for a StitchFix post that I’m posting later this week and I almost broke down in tears when I uploaded everything to the computer. I don’t think it really hit me how different I looked until I flipped through those photos. Granted, they weren’t the most flattering clothes ever (more about that in the post), but you could definitely see that things have changed. There’s also the battle of getting dressed every morning. I * think* certain things still fit (but they don’t) and then pieces that do fit, it’s a fine line between complementing the bump and just making me look large all over.
I feel guilty posting this when I know so many women out there are struggling to conceive (and knowing the rocky road Derek and I took to get here), but I just wanted to put it out there that it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. As much as I love and treasure my growing bump, it’s tougher than I thought to accept how my body is changing. Still, I wouldn’t change a thing if it ensures a healthy baby. I’m staying active (within my doctor-mandated restrictions) and semi-sticking to my normal eating habits (minus feeding the odd craving for Five Guys). I’m happy, healthy, and I know it’s okay to not feel 100% about the way I look all the time.