I can’t even begin to thank all of you for all of the kind comments regarding our big announcement. Derek and I have read and cherished every one of them. So many happy tears over here. 🙂
It’s been killing me not being able to share everything on the blog. There were times I almost broke down and spit out a huge emotionally driven post. However, with our history; both Derek and I didn’t feel 100% comfortable saying anything until after we passed the 12-week hurdle. Now that we have, I promise to share every detail. There is so much I need to fill you guys in on.
I guess it’s safe to start at the very beginning because it wouldn’t be a very good story if I didn’t (I’m an oversharer – remember?). And for those who don’t want to hear about how, well, a baby is made; please feel free to skip this portion of the story.
As some of you may recall… I last spoke about getting my period on December 25th. I was in a pretty crummy mood during the holidays and made a vow to share more about our TTC (trying-to-conceive) journey in the New Year. I wrote a few TTC posts and even partnered with ClearBlue for a few posts that never got published (I had to back out when I got my positive test). At this point I had accepted the fact that Derek and I were in it for the long haul, but at least I had a new outlet for my frustrations.
Accepting the fact that we were in it for the long haul didn’t stop us from aggressively trying. When I realized that there was a chance I would be ovulating during my trip to Disney for the Half Marathon back in January, Derek immediately changed his plans for the weekend and drove over to Disney to join me. They don’t call it the most magical place on earth for nothing, right?
Unfortunately the super early wake-up calls, followed by the super late sleeping in threw off my charting. According to my Fertility Friend App I ovulated on Saturday, but I didn’t get my first positive OPK (ovulation predictor kit) until Sunday. Usually I ovulate two days after my first positive so even though FF said I already ovulated, we kept trying just-in-case FF was wrong and my instincts were right.
My chart stayed pretty convincing with the Saturday ovulation date, so when it came time to start testing I went by the chart for guidance. I woke up at what I thought was 10 DPO (days past ovulation) and took my first pregnancy test of the cycle – negative. One test and I already felt like I was out.
I was all set to wait another couple of days to test again, but for some reason I got the strange urge to test again when I was leaving work that evening. I got home, peed on a stick, and went about the rest of my evening routine. I checked on the test a few minutes later and it looked stark white. A few more minutes later, I pulled out all of the crazy TTC stops. I held the test up to the light, I angled it against the wall, I laid it on a white surface, and I basically went cross eyed looking for a faint second line. And you know what? I thought I saw one. It was super, super faint – something only a crazy POAS-addict could see – but something was there.
I’d just read a bunch of stuff online about evap lines and false positives, so I decided not to think much of it. I was 99% sure I was just seeing things, but for whatever reason that remaining 1% of me was hanging onto hope.
I woke up really early the next morning and felt like a kid on Christmas morning as I waited to pee on a stick. Unfortunately it was the same thing – the faintest of faint lines that my camera phone couldn’t even pick up. Again – 99% sure it’s still negative, but the other 1% decided to purchase an expensive FRER (First Response Early Results) test on the way to work. I’ve read that the fancy tests can pick up a faint line a little earlier than my internet cheapies so why not give it a shot?
Somehow I managed to wait until after work to take the test. I tried both the internet cheapie and the FRER at the same time. Within 5 minutes I had a semi-clear line on both – no squinting required. Holy crap – it was positive!
At this point I was 11 DPO from what FF thought was my ovulation date and I had a very faint line. I was still nervous about the possibility of it disappearing, so I opted not to tell Derek right away. Long story short, I had a false positive the month before and got both of our hopes up, only to bring them crashing down an hour later. This time I wanted to wait until I was absolute sure to tell him.
So I did what every crazy TTC person does, I kept peeing on tests. I took one everyday and watched as the line slowly grew darker. I waited four days before taking a digital test for the first time. It came back with PREGNANT almost immediately. It was time to tell Derek.
I really didn’t have anything special planned for telling Derek. It was Saturday morning when I finally took the digital test and I waited until after I was finished with my run and had showered before waking him. We talked for a few minutes, then I casually asked…
“So when is your brother’s wedding?”
“I don’t think we’re going to be able to make it.”
“That’s when the baby is due.”
And then I pulled out the digital test.
He was speechless. It was the perfect unexpected surprise.
This is only part one of Baby R’s journey. I’ll be back with a 2-3 part series regarding the ups and downs of the first trimester. Let’s just say that my anxiety did not go away after that second line appeared – it got worse.