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Our TTC Journey

by Meghann on January 6, 2015

So here we go. As I mentioned last week, I’m going to start sharing more posts regarding our trying-to-conceive (TTC) journey. If you have zero interest in reading these posts, be sure to check the title of each blog post before moving forward. My plan is to label each post with TTC to give everyone a heads up that I’ll be talking about trying to get pregnant in that post.

Going into this I had little-to-no desire to write about our journey. It felt like such a private and delicate matter. However, just over a year later, it’s frankly all I think about. I’m sure anyone who has been TTC for any amount of time can relate – when it doesn’t happen right away, you start to go a little bonkers. Don’t believe me? Check out any TTC board, it’s actually comforting to know you’re not the only crazy one out there.

When we suffered our first loss last summer, it felt like this huge relief to let it all out on here. I can’t imagine how anyone can go through a loss like that and keep it to themselves. The pain was too much to stay in and it was a comfort to write about it and connect with others who had experienced the same emotions. Again, knowing you’re not alone is the biggest part. Everyone stays so quiet about their struggles that we start jumping to conclusions that aren’t justified or real. The truth is we don’t know everyone’s backstory and the twisted journeys we all take to end up at the next phase. Everyone has a mountain to climb somewhere.

So here I am writing about journey in hopes that it will continue to help others understand that they’re not alone. Writing is also very therapeutic for me and not being able to write about this is clamming me up. Honestly, my blog has sucked lately and I’m hoping that being more real will spice it back up. My emotions show through every post I write, even the extra sugar-coated ones where you can still see my tears through every word I write.

To start off, I thought I’d give a full synopsis of our journey thus far. I love a good background story so please forgive any TMI details. I promise not to go TMI overboard, but you never know what might slip when you’re discussing how to have a baby (I mean, I think we all know the basics of the birds and the bees, right?).

  • December 2008: After 5 years on the pill, my period completely stops. I stop taking the pill and seek out medical advice on what the heck happened to my period. After some bloodwork and an ultrasound, I was told my estrogen levels were low and not much else. You can read more about my experience HERE.
  • November 2010: Period finally returns on its own. After a few months of irregularity, it’s back to its regular schedule.
  • January 2013: I never return to any sort of hormone-induced birth control after my period returns. However, after I register for Ironman Florida, I suddenly become extra fearful that I could accidentally become pregnant during training. Per a recommendation, I have the depo-provera shot in January 2013 and HATE it! I spot for months and feel extra moody.
  • July 2013: The depo-provera shot finally wears off and my period returns back to normal. I download a simple period tracker app and start to track my period. Everything seems regular.
  • January 2014: My husband and I decide to start actively trying for a baby. I rely on the app to tell me when my “fertile window” is and make a go for it. Unfortunately, it’s as if my body knows we’re “trying” and decides to start playing tricks on me. My cycles become longer and I start to drive myself crazy thinking I’m “late” each month. I blow through countless amounts of pregnancy tests and start to realize what people mean when they say TTC will make you go insane.
  • April 2014: After a particularly long cycle leaves me mental, I decide to start charting. I download the Fertility Friend App and start taking my temperature each morning. I also invest in digital OPKs that make pinpointing ovulation a little easier.
  • June 2014: A BFP on our second cycle charting! The excitement fades quickly as I start spotting a week later.
  • July 2014: Two separate ultrasounds reveal fetal growth and a beautiful beating heartbeat. I’m loosely diagnosed with a bicornuate uterus.
  • August 2014: Our 12-week ultrasounds ends in tears. We experience a missed miscarriage (MMC), the beautiful heartbeat is gone.
  • August 2014: I have a D&C to remove the pregnancy. We’re told to wait two cycles before trying again.
  • September 2014: My period returns right on schedule.
  • October 2014: We’re given the all-clear to start trying again. I immediately jump back into charting.
  • November 2014: Our first post-MMC cycle ends with BFN.
  • December 2014: Our second post-MMC cycles ends with BFN.
  • January 2015: We’ve hit the dreaded milestone of TTC for one year.

In the grand scheme of things, our journey is short and has really just begun. Since we were able to conceive in the past, our doctor is hopeful it will happen again. Our current plan is to try on our own for six cycles then, if we’re still not pregnant, we’ll return to the doctor for more tests and a possible referral. Two cycles down, four more to go.

1 Brittany (Healthy Slice of Life) January 6, 2015 at 8:49 pm

No advice from me, but lots of love being sent your way! From experience and good friends’ experiences I definitely understand the ‘crazy’ you speak of when TTC. I hope you get some peace and answers soon! <3
Brittany (Healthy Slice of Life) recently posted..Organization Consistency

2 Stacey January 6, 2015 at 8:54 pm

Hi Meghann,
I’ve been following your blog for years but haven’t felt as connected to you as I do today. I, too, have been TTC for awhile now, and though I haven’t gone through a miscarriage (no BFPs at all yet), I know the insanity. Long cycles and weird “symptoms” have me going crazy! I also can relate to losing your period… well, kinda. I was a *very* long term anorexic and never got a natural, non-induced period until the age of 32 (I’m 34 now and 100% recovered). They come every 27-37 days now, but they do come. My OB tells me that as long as they keep coming, I should assume I’m fertile (I haven’t hit the year mark yet). Anyway, I wish you well on this journey and remind you that you are not alone. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story!

3 Alyssa January 6, 2015 at 9:01 pm

TTC makes you a special kind of crazy. I was secretly really disappointed to ring in 2014 with a glass of wine bc that marked a year of TTC for us. yes, a year is short in the grand scheme, but days feel like years when you are waiting to test and that stupid single line seems like it’s laughing at you every freaking month. And everywhere you look someone is announcing a pregnancy and everyone who has ever had a baby is a fertility expert telling you what you are doing “wrong”. One thing that helped me was thinking how all this frustration would just make it so much sweeter once it finally happened (and it was hard to believe it would) and that was so true. I never took a moment of my pregnancy for granted and waking up for my sweet baby boy is a million times better than waking up to take my temperature to chart, no matter how much he is crying ;). I didn’t believe it when I was in the midst and people said you will get pregnant but you will! Good luck and hang in there.
Alyssa recently posted..A survival story

4 chelsey @ clean eating chelsey January 6, 2015 at 9:12 pm

It’s a rough ride when you have trouble conceiving. It’s crazy because you absolutely never know what someone is going through until you’ve been there yourself. I’m so sorry this is taking you guys so long. The good news is that even if you do need a referral to a specialist, they are so great at making your dream of a family come true. Good luck to you guys!
chelsey @ clean eating chelsey recently posted..looking back and moving forward

5 Merideth January 6, 2015 at 9:27 pm

I am proud of you Meghann for sharing your journey. For those who are not on the same journey with you, you might want to give them a glossary of abbreviations cause it might confuse them. I will you the best of luck!!

6 Janette H. January 6, 2015 at 9:29 pm

Thank you for sharing your story, Meghann. You have no idea how much it helps me.

7 Silvia @ skinny jeans food January 6, 2015 at 9:55 pm

oh Meaghann, this must be hard. Sometimes it happens in the most unbelievable moment outside of any ‘window’. It is not really that much under your control. Hope, all works out!
Silvia @ skinny jeans food recently posted..2015

8 Jane January 6, 2015 at 10:02 pm

So sorry you are going through the this. Can you give a list what all the abbreviations mean?

9 Carrie January 6, 2015 at 10:08 pm

I felt the same way ttc and then lost a pregnancy. I know it is so hard. I agree that since you were able to conceive previously, I am sure you will be getting your bfp soon! I used ovulation tests twice a day (just in case I had a small window) as well as the instead cups at my most fertile days. You can get them at walmart and I like to believe they help, as I’ve had two successful prg with them. I also – begrudgingly- stopped drinking in between periods, just as a precaution. It sucked, bc having a nice glass of wine helped to relax me, but I got desperate and would have tried anything. That is the cycle we got a bfp on. A coincidence I’m sure, but who knows. 🙂 Good luck to you and thank you for sharing! I know it means a lot to many women out there!

10 J January 6, 2015 at 10:11 pm

Thank you for sharing. Sending positive vibes your way!

11 Erica Clark January 6, 2015 at 10:27 pm

Thank you so much for sharing about your journey! As a psychologist here in Tampa, I see my fair share of women (and men) coping with pregnancy loss and fertility struggles. Unfortunately, it is often something couples deal with in secret, which can make it so difficult to find support. I’m so glad you have the courage to share about your experience and I have no doubt that it will make it’s way to those who need to know they aren’t alone.

12 Lauren January 6, 2015 at 10:33 pm

I understand your journey so very well. I’m praying for y’all and sending lots of baby dust your way!!! ????????????

13 The Many Thoughts of a Reader January 6, 2015 at 10:34 pm

It took us 13 cycles to get pregnant with my daughter and I thought that I had started my period then too and even wore a tampon until I took a test like 4 days later and whoa, positive test. I didn’t quite believe it after so many months of negatives. Good luck!
The Many Thoughts of a Reader recently posted..Her Last Breath

14 Katy Hinz January 6, 2015 at 10:42 pm

Thank you for sharing your journey, I think it is so important for women to talk about infertility. My husband and I tried to conceive for a year and a half before it happened. I felt so ashamed, jealous of other women, and confused about whether to track ovulation or ‘just relax and it will happen.’ When I finally shared my struggle with others things got better, so I hope you find it freeing too. I know it is hard to stay hopeful, but please do!! What gave me the most comfort was knowing I would be a mom someday, somehow…even if it was in a different way than I imagined.

15 Andrea January 6, 2015 at 11:14 pm

I had a d&c the day before you at 12 weeks as well. My first child we conceived on the first try. Thought the 2nd would be easy but after two years of BFNs and the MMC, a sibling for my daughter may not be in the cards. At 35, time is not on my side and I want to move on. I think June will be our final “go.” We’ve done all of the fertility testing (no issues) and I did one round of Femara which did nothing but make the idea of sex abhorrent. even Fertile CM had the opposite effect on me. I did get pregnant last year using PreSeed and the “sperm meets egg plan.” We are using them again with fingers crossed. I have faith you will get pregnant again, but I do know how frustrating this process can be. Hang in there. Glad the blog can bring you comfort as it does for your readers like myself who are facing a similar situation.

16 Andrea January 6, 2015 at 11:19 pm

Oh and I was just reading the comments and somebody mentioned not drinking the cycle they got pregnant…that happened to me too. Coincidence, probably. But, it’s the last thing I haven’t tried again, so if I’m not Preggo this cycle, no drinky drink for me.

17 caroline January 6, 2015 at 11:26 pm

my heart hurts for you! i know firsthand how difficult this is and just know you are not alone. it took us a little over 1 year and 1 d&c to have our daughter. I have posted before – currently waiting on a miscarriage for my second pregnancy to complete naturally. The doctor will let me wait two more weeks and then I will have a d&c.

i spoke to a friend today who had two miscarriages before having two beautiful baby girls and she just encouraged me that:
1. she can’t imagine her life without her daughters, and if they hadn’t had the miscarriages those little girls wouldn’t be here
2. the miscarriages made her marriage stronger and helped her and her husband prepare to be parents
3. she has a completely different perspective as a mom than her friends who have never experienced a loss – she knows the full extent of the heartbreak of wanting so badly to be a mom and what a miraculous gift she has been given, making her take a step back and be thankful for even the most frustrating moments of raising small children.

i know that those words don’t make going through this pain ANY easier, but for me it showed me that maybe there is a light at the end of this dark storm that I just can’t see yet. hugs!

18 Liz January 7, 2015 at 12:14 am

My heart just aches for you guys. I have a very similar story (didn’t have my period naturally for years) and my husband and I were TTC for almost 2 years before we finally sought out fertility treatment. I did 4 cycles of Clomid and injectable drugs over the course of 6 months and it was such a roller coaster of emotions. We finally conceived via IUI on the fourth treatment cycle and I’m now 32 weeks with our little girl. It is the hardest thing to accept when you feel like your body isn’t doing the very thing it was designed to do, but you are totally right that the journey has just begun! There are so many great options for testing and treatment available if it comes to that, and although it is tough to go through, there will very likely be a happy ending to your story! Wishing you the best of luck and I sincerely hope 2015 will be your year!!

19 Goldie January 7, 2015 at 3:24 am

Oh Meghann,

I really feel your hurting. The TTC journey is filled with such horrible hurdles and even once you get to the positive test it just opens up a new set of anxieties and concerns. I don’t know if it brings any comfort but we lost our first in April (I messaged you in August when I read your post about your loss because my heart broke for you… even as I write this all the emotions I thought I had overcome threaten to spill out of me. The agony is like nothing else I have experienced). I stubbornly went back on the pill declaring I never wanted to try again but reconsidered in November and reluctantly came off it. We decided to let fate take it’s course and as it happens we’re now 1 month in again. Absolutely terrified and freaking out over absolutely everything. Just because there is a pregnancy doesn’t mean there will be a baby is all I can think in my head. it’s negative but it helps me to be realistic in case we suffer the same fate as before.

Keep trying. You’ve been so brave and honest and you’ve certainly helped me to cope. Your rainbow is waiting. I have no doubt about that. Best of luck and all my love.

20 Ash Bear January 7, 2015 at 4:47 am

I’m so proud of you for sharing this journey. I can only imagine the number of people you will help. Silly question – what is BFN?
Ash Bear recently posted..Resolutions for a Great Year

21 Christina January 7, 2015 at 6:37 am

I’ve been following your blog for years, and it hurts me to know that you’re going through this. My husband and I are having a similar struggle with infertility and we too have just hit the 1 year mark. Try to keep the hope that things will get better, even when that seems impossible to do.

22 Kate January 7, 2015 at 6:38 am

as I’m sure you are realising from the comments, you are most certainly not alone. I’m coming up to three years, including 6 rounds of clomid, two rounds of ICSI and one chemical pregnancy (very early miscarriage). It is hard and heartbreaking. It changes you in a way nothing else can, but I do believe I have changed for the better. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but I’m a better person now than I was when we started this journey and for that I am grateful. We are just starting to pursue adoption as to us a family doesn’t have to come in the biological way.
I am on Twitter as @adventureswcake but followed by people I know so not too open about TTC.

23 Christina January 7, 2015 at 6:39 am

Also…I can’t read any comments on your posts lately.

24 Susie @ SuzLyfe January 7, 2015 at 6:49 am

Thank you. Thank you for sharing this. I’m at the beginning of this journey, and I know that it is going to be a long road for me due to to hormonal history. Thank you for being brave and putting this out there.
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25 Tracy January 7, 2015 at 7:35 am

My husband and I started trying in June 2012. After 9 months of no success we decided to move forward with some treatment. We had two unsuccessful IUI’s, and then a month later got pregnant naturally. Unfortunately I lost the baby at 10 weeks. After a lot of healing, we decided to move forward with IVF. We find ourselves in March 2014 with our first cycle to which I again couldn’t hold the pregnancy, but this time at nearly 5 weeks. After a slew of tests, my doctor told us to never give up… And we found ourselves with a frozen IVF cycle in August, and I am now 24 weeks pregnant with a healthy active baby boy in my womb.

I know you have heard these stories before, because I know I did. But let it give you hope. It will happen, it may take time… way more time than you want. But when it happens, it is a true miracle in my eyes. That baby will be a gift and all that heartache will fade, but not forgotten. I have learned so much from this TTC journey of mine, and you will too. Don’t put a time table on this, let it happen, and it will. I wish you all the hope and happiness you deserve and will have.

26 Jay January 7, 2015 at 7:36 am

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope that you and your doctor come up with a solid plan moving forward. I was “loosely” diagnosed with a bicronuate uterus a little over a year ago after my second loss which ended up turning into a uterine septum which needed surgery to correct. A mullerian defect which is essentially a misshapen uterus is something that really needs investigating. Best of luck to you.
Jay recently posted..20 things only a loss mom will understand

27 Lauren January 7, 2015 at 7:37 am

Hugs. I am in the middle of my own MMC with a D&E scheduled for tomorrow. It’s definitely one of the most difficult things I’ve ever been through. I’m glad you’re doing the TTC posts; it’s something I can relate to, and I appreciate your honesty. I hope the rest of your TTC journey is short!

28 Erin Christine January 7, 2015 at 8:14 am

Huge hugs to you and Derek! My heart broke for you in August. I really admire your honesty.

29 Lauren January 7, 2015 at 8:19 am

Thinking of you girl. I know how hard this process can be. I went through 2 years of TTC and infertility treatments before I was able to get pregnant 100% on my own. Making a baby is HARD WORK but it will happen. When all the stars align and the time is perfectly right, you’ll be well on your way to mommy hood. I am thinking of you and if you ever need someone to vent to, please don’t hesitate. <3 xo

30 Kelly January 7, 2015 at 8:45 am

Megan, I’m sorry for your loss and ongoing TTC. I don’t have kids myself and have never actively tried to become pregnant. I would still like to read your posts – it never hurts to educate yourself BEFORE you are in a situation. However, can I make one suggestion: you’ve used a lot of abbreviations, which I had to Google. I think someone who is on the TTC boards and forums would be familiar with them, but someone not on those boards will have trouble reading (and maybe even relating) to your posts. Just a simple explanation of BFN or similar might help ongoing. Just a suggestion! Also, for some reason, I’ve not been able to read comments for a few months now. I always enjoy reading what others have to contribute to the conversation. It says I can read them below, but there is no below! I can see the number of comments, but the actual comments aren’t there. There is only the option to leave a comment. Best of luck on this journey.

31 Amber @ Busy, Bold, Blessed January 7, 2015 at 8:53 am

I love your blog and I hope you always feel you can be real! I’m so sorry this is happening to you, but I do find it interesting. My husband and I will be TTC in about 10-12 months from now… and so far my life has always been about preventing pregnancy. I get worried that once I actually want it to happen it will be hard. We’ll see.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers <3
Amber @ Busy, Bold, Blessed recently posted..January Whole30: Meal Plan Days 1-5

32 Nikki January 7, 2015 at 8:55 am

All I can say is there is hope. I am 29 years old and gave birth last year to a healthy baby boy. I got pregnant the first month trying. Why am I telling you this? I went about 5 years with no menstrual cycle. I had my first period at 16 and it disappeared at 18. No test could tell me why but I am almost certain it was because I had a low body fat percentage. I wasn’t underweight but my body needed some extra pounds. My period eventually came back on it’s own and my cycle was regular. There is hope, Megan. Thanks for sharing.

33 Nicole January 7, 2015 at 9:06 am

Hi Meghann, just wanted to say thanks for writing these posts! I haven’t struggled with TTC but a close friend has so I’ve forwarded this post to her. It’s also good because then I feel I can relate to her situation since one of her struggles is feeling very alone since none of other close friends have experienced this (yet). So thanks for taking the time to write these difficult posts. It’s one subject that should be discussed openly more! Thinking of you as you continue your journey 🙂

34 Ana January 7, 2015 at 9:23 am

I hope you get pregnant very soon !! I have been TTC for a year too but has not happened yet. We went to a specialist and exams are not coming as i wish they would. I am usually a positive person but this is challenging me in so many ways that most of the time i am really struggling to remain positive. How do you do that? All the best for you and i cant wait to hear your baby announcement sometime soon 🙂

35 Hannah January 7, 2015 at 9:45 am

Meghann, thanks for sharing your story! My husband and I actively tried (like the whole temp/mucous charting thing) for seven months before we conceived. I felt like I was living my life in two-week cycles, waiting for my period, or waiting to be fertile. My doctor diagnosed me with “sub-clinical hypothyroidism” and told me to start a daily pill that I’d have to take the rest of my life. I instead went to a doctor of osteopathy (called a DO, more into looking at what’s causing symptoms rather than just treating them) and she told me I had wildly low levels of Vitamin D, which can effect everything. After two months on a high dose of Vitamin D, my thyroid levels returned to normal, and we conceived. I’d encourage you to find a doctor that will look at your entire history (family, too) and check all hormone/thyroid/vitamin levels to find the root cause of your irregular cycles. Endurance athletes are trained to be hyper-efficient, which can sometimes effect our natural body processes. Best of luck on your TTC journey! Know that you’re not alone, and not crazy! Praying for you and your Rainbow!

36 Jackie January 7, 2015 at 9:55 am

I know all too well how this can be a crazy time. Good luck!!!!!!!

37 Jessica January 7, 2015 at 10:18 am

Thank you for having the courage to share your story! You have no idea how many people it will help to read it and know they are not alone.

38 Briana January 7, 2015 at 10:18 am

Hi Meghann,
Thank you for writing about this difficult time. I have been TTC for 8 months and have had my hormone levels tested and a HSG. Everyone around me is getting pregnant and it is extremely disappointing! I often feel like I’m obsessive and crazy, but when it happens to others and not you it’s tough to deal. Thanks for writing these posts it makes me feel better to know I’m not alone. Hang in there!

39 Laura January 7, 2015 at 10:39 am

I’m reading this post with tears in my eyes because I understand so much of what you’re going through. My husband and I have been trying for a year, all with BFN’s. My period has been erratic, leading me to think I’m pregnant twice. I have also gotten false negatives on ovulation kits, which is puzzling and frustrating. The whole process has left me depressed, stressed out, and fearful that it will never happen.

After several (expensive) tests I was diagnosed as not ovulating regular. I started clomid this cycle and I am hopeful.

I agree, one thing that has helped is talking about it. A few months ago we decided to tell a few close friends and our immediate families that we are trying. Having my mom to talk to has helped tremendously, something about having female support.

I wish you well on your journey. Good luck!

40 Stephanie @ My Freckled Life January 7, 2015 at 11:11 am

Thank you so much for sharing your journey!! In 2014 I felt SO alone in my struggle to conceive/have a normal cycle, because I felt like everyone just fell into becoming pregnant so easily. I thought I was the only one who was having multiple visits with the doctors, tests run, and googling my little heart out, with no avail. Thankfully our TTC journey finally ended in September, after 7 failed cycles in a row, but I am so happy to now read other people’s stories and know that it wasn’t just me and my weird body.

Big hugs to you, and I certainly wish you good luck in the next 4 cycles!
Stephanie @ My Freckled Life recently posted..WIAW: New Year Edition

41 stephanie January 7, 2015 at 11:15 am

First of you, your blog has not sucked lately. It has been a little more distant but I still check daily!

Second, thank you for sharing. This and all the things you share. Following you on your life journey has helped me in many tiny ways. Plus I’ve really enjoyed our virtual one sided friendship. 🙂 I’m thinking of you and derek.

My only suggestions for you, not because it has any magical powers, is to go back to yoga. Only because every time you went you wrote about how much you loved it and how calm it made you feel. Those feelings are so elusive in life when things seem crazy.

42 Jesica @rUnladylike January 7, 2015 at 11:53 am

Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly about your journey Meghann. I know it must be an emotional and hard thing to do. My husband and I just recently started trying, so understanding more of what others are going through and what is working and not working is interesting to learn. My greatest hopes for you and your husband to grow your family and have a healthy baby this year. Thinking about you. xo
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43 Cristina January 7, 2015 at 12:23 pm

Thanks for sharing! I have been trying for 7 months and totally feel the frustration. I’m a little older than you (mid 30’s) so the age thing really worries me. Fingers crossed for a BFP real soon!

44 Linda @ TheFitty January 7, 2015 at 12:51 pm

I’m so sorry to hear this…but know that one day in the near future it WILL happen and getting anxious won’t help the process!
Linda @ TheFitty recently posted..Juilliard Audition Results + Christmas Week {#LIPlinkup #14}

45 Megan January 7, 2015 at 1:34 pm

This TTC journey can absolutely make you crazy… and it has made me a little crazy right along with you. We’ve been TTC for 1.5 years and had a miscarriage at the end of September — I actually emailed you shortly after. So far no luck for us with a big fat BFN at the end of December. Here’s to hoping that 2015 is the year for both of us! 🙂
Megan recently posted..It all feels broken.

46 Anne January 7, 2015 at 2:05 pm

I think it’s great that you are sharing! TTC is a total mindfuck, and the fact that nobody talks about losses and such make you feel so alone. I did the fertility friend charting last summer. Two months of charting and two months of trying and we are due in June. I read about your MMC right after our first month ended in a BFN, and your words helped. Plus I got that FertileCM to help with EWCM. I feel so blessed that we got pregnant and stayed pregnant fairly easily. BEST OF LUCK!

47 Brittney January 7, 2015 at 2:28 pm

Ugh, this is totally taking me back… I feel like our journeys were very similar. Even though we’re blog friends, I’m not sure if you ever read about my TTC stuff a couple years ago. If you want to and it helps- here’s the link:
The good news is that we had a happy ending, but I will never forget how hard it was when I was in the middle of it like you are. It was awful, and I hope you get your BFP and healthy pregnancy soon Meghann!!
Brittney recently posted..Catching Up

48 B January 7, 2015 at 2:58 pm

I’m crossing my fingers and toes you see a positive within the next four months. However, if you need to go through infertility treatment, you will be able to do it and we will all be here to encourage you.

49 Christine January 7, 2015 at 3:15 pm

Thinking of you!

50 e January 7, 2015 at 5:18 pm

good luck!

51 Esther January 7, 2015 at 5:30 pm

Thank you so much for sharing your story. My husband and I have also been struggling to conceive – we finally were referred to a reproductive endocrinologist, and are going to be starting our first IUI cycle this month. I know how mentally and emotionally consuming it is and how it can feel like it’s happening so easily for everyone else around. It’s little comfort, but it does help to know that we’re not alone in this. I am sending you so many positive thoughts – I can’t imagine how hard your MMC was, but you are showing tremendous strength. All the best.

52 Natalia January 7, 2015 at 6:01 pm

Thank you for sharing your story! I have PCOS and currently planning on start TTC soon which is super scary…

Sending a virtual hug and lots of “baby dust” your way!

53 Alyssa January 7, 2015 at 7:04 pm


My heart aches for you. While I don’t share ur pain in suffering a miscarriage, I do share your pain in TTC. The wonderful news is that I’m typing this with a 7 day old infant on my lap….. It. Is. Possible. Your time will come just as mine did. I’ve suffered from polycystic ovarian syndrome since being diagnosed around the age of 15. I would go for extended stretches with no period, I’m talking sometimes 6 months time. I was told I would need invitro to get pregnant and to not get my hopes up. Well, it happens. And it happens naturally. All I can tell you is to buy ovulation strips. I got a bulk bag off amazon and used them everyday for months starting about a week after my period. I finally got a positive ovulation strip and that was the start of my little miracle. It can’t hurt to try so give it a whirl! Your time will come and trust me…when it does, you appreciate that little bundle so much more because of the struggle..even when you’re up all night feeding the little stinker! Good luck, you’re in my thoughts!!

54 Stephanie January 7, 2015 at 7:57 pm

Sigh! When I read about your struggles just a week or so ago, ugh it made me so sad. Anyone who has been through trying to conceive knows that when you are ready to be pregnant, you are ready to be pregnant yesterday thank you very much! And so much heart ache in one year. I am sure i could rattle off the stats that you know that miscarriages are common and doesn’t mean you won’t be good to go next time around, that the chances of getting pregnant on any one cycle is slim so it takes time blah blah blah. But really i just want to send you some virtual hugs! I am here if you need an extra person to lean on. So many of us have been there in one way or another and we will all get you through.

55 Pat January 7, 2015 at 8:25 pm

Meagan, thank you for your openness and willingness to share. For some reason I am unable to view the comments on this post, so my apologies if what I am saying has already been repeated. I would recommend looking more into the bicornuate uterus matter. When I was rotating in ObGYN, we had a number of patients who were in a similar position as you: TTC, but either unable to, or having miscarriage(s). The milder types of bicornuate uterus are very difficult to pick up on imaging studies, and the decision to go forward with a septoplasty or any procedure for correction end up coming from the patient’s repeated bouts of TTC but being unable to. It is a fairly simple procedure, and couples can conceive as early as 1-2 months after the procedure. I am not sure what types of tests your physician has done re the bicornuate uterus, but I would really recommend looking into it. You have been able to conceive, and that is a really really wonderful sign.

56 Pat January 7, 2015 at 8:39 pm

Meagan, thank you for your openness and willingness to share. For some reason I am unable to view the comments on this post, so my apologies if what I am saying has already been repeated. I would recommend looking more into the bicornuate uterus matter. When I was rotating in ObGYN, we had a number of patients who were in a similar position as you: TTC, but either unable to, or having miscarriage(s). The milder types of bicornuate uterus are very difficult to pick up on imaging studies, and the decision to go forward with a septoplasty or any procedure for correction end up coming from the patient’s repeated bouts of TTC but being unable to. It is a fairly simple procedure, and couples can conceive as early as 1-2 months after the procedure. I am not sure what types of tests your physician has done re the bicornuate uterus, but I would really recommend looking into it. You have been able to conceive, and that is a really really wonderful sign. Best wishes to you and Derek.

57 Alisha @ Real Girl Running January 7, 2015 at 9:18 pm

I haven’t been through anything like this personally, but in the end I think everyone and every couple are different. I’ve had some friends who have had trouble conceiving, and although it was an emotionally difficult process, every one of my friends say it was worth it in the end. Good luck to you both!
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58 Kristen Nash January 8, 2015 at 8:48 am

Hey girl,

I have absolutely no idea how you feel (I am a newly wed who isn’t currently trying to get pregnant and still on the pill) BUT I wanted to let you know I am praying for you and your family. Your story is heartbreaking and I pray for peace during this time and that you will be blessed soon with a child. Please know you have a whole support system out here who are rooting for you!


59 cara January 8, 2015 at 12:32 pm

thanks so much for posting this. i’m going through the same issue. I went off bc in september, got 1 light period in dec, and now nothing! so frustrating when TTC!

60 christina January 8, 2015 at 1:59 pm

Best of luck to you Meghann! It’s great to hear your authenticity come through again.

61 Kelly January 8, 2015 at 2:10 pm

I have been reading your blog from about day #1. I love that your blogging about this aspect of your life. You don’t know how many folks you are helping! My oldest child is 17 and it took us 14 months of TTC to be finally blessed with him, I would have loved to have read a blog like this at that time to know that I wasn’t alone. Also on a side note, My youngest child has Celiac disease, and I love when you post about your meals and note the gluten free choices for Derek. Thank you!!

62 Sarah January 8, 2015 at 3:07 pm

My husband and I tried for 15 months and we are having our son’s first birthday next week. Hang in there!

63 Julie January 8, 2015 at 11:34 pm

I am so glad you are sharing your story! I also miscarried and the worst part was feeling like I couldn’t talk about it to anyone. So difficult.

It took my husband and I a full year to conceive, including the miscarriage. I decided to start seeing a naturopathic doctor, and a month after, had a successful pregnancy that is currently at 16 weeks. We could have just been lucky, but I think between balancing some hormones, charting my temperature and using the tests that tell you your most fertile days each month, it all seemed to work out.

Will be thinking of you! Keep trying and keep having FUN with it all so it doesn’t become a chore!

64 megabrooke January 9, 2015 at 2:30 pm

I’ve been reading your blog for a long time. I can totally appreciate your struggle in trying to conceive– not from a personal standpoint of trying on my own, but from the side of working with that patient population. I’m a fertility nurse, and work with women struggling TTC every day. I know what an emotional rollercoaster the whole process is, the ups and downs that come along with it. The good news is that you have gotten pregnant before- as emotional as that loss was, the light in that situation is that you can conceive, and the hope is that you will be able to go on to have a healthy pregnancy. It just might take you a little longer than others.
If you ever want to chat, or vent, or have any questions, I’d be more than happy to email with you 🙂
Hang in there, and sending hugs, and lots of positive energy your way!

65 Ashley January 9, 2015 at 10:08 pm

I’m really trying to write this delicately knowing what had happened this past year for you. But as someone who tried for 3 years to get pregnant,; how have you hit the dreaded TTC for one year milestone when you did in fact get pregnant within the first 6 months? From your timeline it shows that for around 5 months of those you weren’t TTC. Maybe I’m not well educated in the terminology and process post-miscarriage. Are you able to clarify this? I just want to be sensitive to your struggles this year as you should be to those that have struggled for years without any progress.

66 Emily January 9, 2015 at 10:56 pm

This is my first time visiting your blog, so excuse me for just butting in. 🙂 My husband and I are about 1-1.5 years away from TTC, and I’m already panicking about it. I was diagnosed with PCOS last April, and I’m pretty much a mess. I rarely have cycles at all and I’m worried about what’s going to happen when the time comes. The best thing I can offer you is support and to wish you luck in the coming months! I believe it will happen! <3
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67 LaureRenee January 10, 2015 at 8:25 pm

I recently lost a pregnancy too due to a misdiagnosis. Got pregnant after D& C. I waited two months to start trying again because I also methotrexate shots (chemo) to end what they thought was an ectopic . I think I got pregnant the third month trying. It felt like forever though !!!! Fertile CM May or may not have helped, I was taking it. Now I am due 3/26. It will happen again!! Oh and I had started a new job, was stressed and sleep deprived and it still happened. Hang in there girly!!

68 Michaela January 11, 2015 at 1:15 am

If you haven’t already checked her out, I strongly recommend looking up Natalie Kingroudis. She’s a natural fertility expert and is amazing. There’s a lot of information on her website and she has some ebooks etc that help with having babies. I wish you all the best!! x

69 Louise January 12, 2015 at 6:45 am
If you haven’t read this book I highly recommend it. Also TCOYF, which you might have read if you’re charting. I got pregnant with my first on the first try after reading these books, following 2 years of almost non-existent cycles. Acupuncture and vitex supplements definitely helped me. I am now pregnant with our second baby after 2 miscarriages. I went back to the acupuncture and vitex again after those losses. I know not everyone has the same outcomes with acupuncture and herbs but it was definitely worth it for me and I hope your journey has a positive outcome soon.

70 Katie January 12, 2015 at 9:22 am

You will make an excellent mama when the time comes. It’s always a pleasure reading your blog – you are a breath of fresh air. Sending prayers your way.

I know you had mentioned weight and your period in a previous post. Maybe you will be doing a post on that portion of your journey. A friend had a difficult time conceiving and gaining a bit plus removing some work stress finally helped put things in place.

71 Tory January 12, 2015 at 12:05 pm

Thank you for being so honest and open, Meghann. My parents struggled for almost three years with fertility problems, but everything wound up working out in their favor! My mother kept a beautiful diary while she was TTC and eventually pregnant, and it was a great documentation of everything they went through.
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72 Nicole January 14, 2015 at 4:38 pm

Thank you for actually writing about this. I found your blog a little while ago and actually went back and read everything from the beginning–all the years. I genuinely appreciate that you are willing to write about all of it, the running, the triathlons, and just life stuff. No one wants to talk about TTC and how strange and weird the process can be because we are told not to, but that seems wrong to me as well. Even if everything goes tickety boo there are still thousands of questions, what you can eat, how much you can workout etc that no one really talks about. Keep writing and sharing, it’s so inspiring for others to read.

73 kalli January 15, 2015 at 12:24 pm

I am so glad you are sharing this now. I read your miscarriage post and it broke my heart. I am 44 and TTC and I can relate-it makes you crazy! If I don’t conceive this round we are trying clomid and artificial insemination. People say don’t do clomid you will be moody. I just laugh cuz I am going crazy anyway. I have no idea how my man wants to have sex with me as it is I am so crazy. The good thing is you are YOUNG and HEALTHY. It will happen for you. I know it. Thank you again for sharing your journey. xoxoxoxo

74 Caitlin January 18, 2015 at 3:07 pm

Thank you so much for sharing your journey, and being so open and honest. You can read it in the comments here but I bet there are hundreds more who haven’t commented that are helped by your post!

I’m thinking positive thoughts for you guys and hope you’re blessed soon! A friend of mine went through a loss at 11 weeks early last spring and now she is 13 weeks pregnant with what appears to be a very healthy boy. They told her too that the fact she got pregnant once is a great sign.

Also…I ate pineapple core every day post ovulation since I read it helps implantation. I’m now 35 weeks! Not sure if it actually did anything but hey, it was worth trying 🙂

75 Valerie Many LeBlanc January 31, 2015 at 10:46 pm

Good luck! I’m rooting for you.

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