Time really does fly. Can you believe Derek and I were married one month ago today? It feels like yesterday I was writing the “one-month to go” post and still tying together the last minute details of the wedding. Now the wedding has come and gone and I’ve officially had a month of calling Derek “my husband” (which is awesome by the way).
I still owe you some wedding recap posts (I still have SO MUCH to write about the experience!), but I wanted to sneak in to write a post on my thoughts as a newlywed one month in. It might be fun to look back on this post a year from now and see how much my thoughts on being a married lady have changed (or maybe they haven’t?). Sorry if I just start to ramble. I’m in a rambling mood.
For starters, married life is wonderful. I feel like a walking cliche sometimes, but every sappy romantic thing I’ve ever read about being a newlywed is so true. Derek and I are still in that “honeymoon” phase where we’ll randomly send each other messages stating “I love my wife” or “I love my husband.” We also make random jokes referencing our vows stating “wait, that wasn’t in any of my vows” or “Is it too late to add that statement to my vows?” We are so sickeningly sweet that if I was an outsider looking in, I would say gag me.
Don’t worry, we still have our rough moments (jointly putting together Ikea furniture for one), but there’s a weird sense of security that those are in fact just moments and they will pass. We made this commitment to each other, and I really believe that makes us stronger.
Yes and no. Derek and I have known each other for 8 years, dated for 4 years, and lived together for 2 years, so we know each other’s personalities better than anybody, both inside and out – there are no new surprises there. But we have made a few changes recently as newlyweds that made me think “holy crap, we’re really married.”
For starters, Derek and I have done a total overhaul of our finances, insurances, and other policies. One of the first things we did as a married couple was open a joint savings and checking account (technically we already had a joint checking) and combined everything, with a certain percentage set aside each month in our personal accounts for personal expenses (i.e. races!). Last night we were both calling our car insurance companies to see which one would offer a better deal in the hopes of combining those too (p.s. did you know you get an instant discount just for being married?). We’ve also added each other as our official emergency contacts and benefactors on various things.
There’s something that leaves you feeling very vulnerable when you completely open up your finances to another person. Before we were married, the only other person who knew what was happening in my bank account was my accountant. Sure, Derek and I had broad discussions of how much the other made/spent each month (and that, thankfully, we’re both debt free – minus the mortgage), but nothing detail oriented. Now it’s all out on the table, leaving us both transparent and exposed. Yes, it’s scary, but joining our finances has led to some pretty serious conversations about timelines/plans for the future, which have really strengthened our relationship in the last month. I wish more people would talk about the process of joining finances because the process really is both a scary and beautiful thing all wrapped up in one.
Right up until we got married I wasn’t sure I was going to legally change my last name. I knew I was going to go the hyphenated route (i.e. Meghann Anderson-Russell), but wasn’t sure it was worth it to go through the trouble of legally changing it if I was just going to hyphenate. After we got married I changed my name on Facebook and the look of it grew on me. One day I just decided to go ahead and legally change it. I didn’t want to just be Meghann Anderson-Russell on Facebook, I wanted the name everywhere – on my license, on my email, on my passport, etc. I went to tell Derek about my decision to make it official and he was like “what-ever.” I thought he’d be over the moon about it , but he told me that he already knew I was his wife and that’s all he cared about, not my last name. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I married this man. *swoon*
I’m heading to the social security office next week to start the process (I heard it was best to go on a Friday at 9:00am, but this Friday is my birthday and I don’t want to spend it at the SS office, so next Friday it is! ). I’ll fill in the details about the name changing process as it goes since it’s a new experience for me and I’m always curious how other people’s experience with the process goes. (edited to add: I’ll officially be Meghann Anderson-Russell)
Our house is still a mess with wedding stuff. I’ve tried my best to organize it all, but there are still gifts that need to be returned, others that need to be put away, thank you notes that need to be written (cards were ordered last week, thank goodness), decorations that need to be given away (or donated), and frames that need to be filled and hung. We’ve been good slowly picking away at various post-wedding tasks every weekend, but neither of us seem very motivated to finish the pile off at once. Mainly we just want to sit on the couch and watch tv. On another note, it has been nice not having a wedding to plan. Maybe that’s why we’ve been so drawn to the couch? The break has been nice.
So there you have it. Ramblings from a newlywed who is one month in.
What was going through your mind on your one month anniversary as a newlywed?