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Wedding: Cake Smash

by Meghann on August 13, 2012

I might be in the minority here, but….

cakefight.jpg

I like the idea of the cake smash.

MomCake.jpg

You know that tender moment when the bride and groom are supposed to be delicately feeding each other a piece of cake? BORING!

DadCake.jpg

Derek better watch out – I definitely plan to be a smasher. ;)

What about you? Gentle cake feeder or a smasher?

*photos are my parents on their wedding day in 1982


{ 68 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kelli @ HowdyFromNYC August 13, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I’m going to be a hypocrite on this one. I’ll let my Husband delicately feed me the cake and then I’m gonna smash my piece all over his face! Gosh I hope I go last!
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2 Ashley August 13, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I pretended I was going to be nice, but then made the attack! Different was we had an ice cream cake… much more messy. :)

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3 Julie @ Peanut Butter Fingers August 13, 2012 at 1:55 pm

you had an ice cream cake!?!?!??!?!?!?! i am so jealous. do you have pictures anywhere? i’d seriously love to see this… and then make my sister do it one day when she gets married since she loves ice cream cake as much as i do. :)
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4 Cara @ I Don't Believe in Diets August 13, 2012 at 1:58 pm

The husband and I did that and I loved it. I didn’t spend money on getting my make up done though. haha. Either way, it was fun and cute (to me).
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5 Kate August 13, 2012 at 2:05 pm

“Call me a minority, but….” I don’t think this is coming across like you meant it to come across. Perhaps “I might be in the minority but …”

No cake smashing at my wedding. My husband was threatened repeatedly over the course of our engagement not too :)

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6 Meghann August 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Thank you, Kate. I made the correction per your suggestion. :)

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7 Katelyn A August 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Precious moments cake topper = Precious :)

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8 deva at deva by definition August 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

we will not be smashing cake at our wedding. I’m not a fan of that at all, personally.
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9 Lindsey August 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

One of the funny moments from my sister’s wedding is when she turned to husband to feed him the cake or smash it–only to find that he was already like 4 bites into his piece…totally oblivous to the whole ritual and just hungry. I don’t even think he waited for her. We still have not let him live it down! His response, “What? It was really good cake!”

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10 Cat @ Breakfast to Bed August 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I had no cake. Alas, I think the mutual feeding is a strange custom in itself, so do what you will! Just make sure to have a makeup artist nearby.
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11 Kelly August 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

We did the smash and it was great! Definitely lightened the mood, and the photos of it turned out to me some of my favorites :)
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12 EP August 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm

i think smashing is tacky and immature, u spend a lot on your dress, makeup, hair and cake.. i have also heard its bad luck! (i dont know who really said that)
we did not smash the cake. but to each their own, do what you want :)

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13 Meghann August 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I think it’s fun :) And luckily the cake cutting doesn’t come until you’ve already been dancing and sweating, so (i’m assuming) at that point, makeup, hair, and the dress are the last things on your mind. Also, my parents smashed at their wedding and have been married for 30 years, I would almost think it’s good luck. : )

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14 RunEatRepeat August 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I’ve said the same thing! Of all the days for someone to smash food in your face it’s going to be when you’re wearing a thousand dollar dress and have had your makeup professionally done?! It makes NO sense.

Besides, why do we do this on wedding days? Why not on someone’s birthday? Because it’s mean.
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15 Meghann August 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Actually I’ve been to birthdays where couple’s smash cake on each other’s faces.

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16 RunEatRepeat August 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

I think that’s mean. To each their own :)
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17 Meghann August 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I didn’t mean for it to sound mean, I promise they were laughing the entire time (even throwing in cute “I still love you” kisses) :)

18 Jordan @ Bake Write Sleep August 14, 2012 at 9:24 am

Actually, my family tradition is for the birthday person to take their first bite of cake – with their face. Everyone knows by now that you’re going to get your face smashed into the cake by now… but that makes it all the more fun. We sometimes try to race to see if we can grab the bite before our faces get smashed in (lightly of course – and we always get rectangular cakes and just bite the corner)
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19 Meghann August 14, 2012 at 9:34 am

Sounds like a tradition my family would be fans of. Luckily we just stick to really obnoxious and out of tune/sync/made-up lyrics of Happy Birthday

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20 Carla August 13, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I have to agree with EP. I guess it is all up to the bride and groom but my wedding was an event that I spent months planning. I wanted it to be elegant and classy and memorable for the right reasons for my husband and the guests. I don’t get the “fun” of walking around with frosting in your hair and your make up ruined…why bother paying someone to do it if it is just going to be wiped off with the cake.
I know, it is your wedding, but you put it out there so I had to comment.

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21 Miranda @ Biting Life August 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I’m not sure on this one… I’m leaning towards no, because it would ruin the makeup and could get all over the dress. But it would make for some cute pictures!
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22 Sarah August 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

We did gentle smashing.

I always tell brides not to make the same mistake I did in choosing to cut the chocolate layer of the cake for the smashing. Chocolate cake doesn’t look quite as cute smashed all over one’s face and dress as white cake.

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23 Amber August 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

FUN. Do it! We did NOT talk about it beforehand at all but my husband cake smashed me. I gently fed him some cake (kind of rubbed it around his mouth a little bit) and then he full on smashed it in my face and it was HILARIOUS. I then proceeded to make him lick/eat it off. It’s one of my favourite memories of our wedding! Weddings are supposed to be FUN and I feel like some people get too uptight about this kind of stuff. Just my $0.02 though.

OH, and there is a video on my blog of this cake smashing happening: http://girlwiththeredhair.com/2012/07/cutting-the-cake-a-wedding-video/
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24 Meghann August 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

HILARIOUS!! I love it! Thanks for sharing :) You guys look so happy and like you were having so much fun – the way weddings should be! :)

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25 Amber August 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Thanks! It was SO MUCH fun which is definitely more important, and going to give you better memories, than having perfect hair or makeup :)

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26 Margo August 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Love these photos!! I think it’s really cute when a couple does the cake smashing thing. I skipped it for my wedding though. I was way too paranoid about ruining my make-up or my dress. Plus considering that was the only bite of my cake I got to eat that night, I’m really happy I was actually able to enjoy it.
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27 Christine August 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

We didn’t because we cut our cake at the very beginning of the reception, immediately after we entered, and I did not want to have to worry about my expensive makeup or cake all over my dress.

Plus, my father and my father-in-law (who were both paying for part of the wedding) made it very clear that they considered the cake smash to be trashy. Not my opinion but if the men are paying they get to make that decision.

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28 Meghann August 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Agree with you on that one. If the people paying were saying no, then I’d go with their opinion. ;)

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29 Jackie @ MomJovi August 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

It’s interesting because I had never put too much thought into it until we got engaged but my late mother-in-law was very vocal that couples should NOT smash cakes into one another’s faces. When you start to think about the symbolism of why you’re actually do this particular custom (the promise to always feed and nourish each other’s souls), it does ruin the moment to do it with force and the intention of slamming it all over your partner’s face. Is that how you will trample on their feelings? (by the way, that’s totally a rhetorical question and the “you” is neither you nor Derek!).

So, while I don’t fault couples who do do it the fun way, I never could get her words out of *MY* head and it just didn’t feel right to shove it up his nose like I’d once envisioned. If we weren’t going to do it nicely, then we just were going to skip that part of the reception.

I know it seems uptight about something that is fun but at least to me, there were a few things I wanted to consider their symbolic meaning of for our day, rather than just checking off another item on our wedding day to-do list. We saved the craziness for the dance floor! Just my two cents. :)
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30 lynne @ lgsmash August 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm

thanks for sharing the meaning behind the tradition! i always wondered why couples fed each other cake.
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31 Carly August 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

At least Derek has a heads up about the cake smash (assuming he reads your posts).

My wife did not warn me. We have some good photos of me looking completely shocked as cake hit me in the face. She was quite pleased with herself for that one. :)

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32 Michelle August 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Oh we totally cake smashed – but I think it’s true to our personalities and the playfulness of our relationship. I can’t imagine my wedding day without it!

I like reading these comments though because it shows how much things have changed in the past 10 years! Or maybe just my friends were big cake smashers — because I feel like it was done at most of my friends weddings, too.
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33 Kristen August 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I may be in the minority but… we didn’t have a cake cutting at our wedding. We just told people to have at ‘er with the cupcakes (even though there was a small cake at the top of the cupcake stand) and skipped the cutting because it wasn’t for us. Even if we had, I’m not sure we would have fed it to each other – we probably would have done a cupcake “cheers” and eaten our own cupcake. Again – just because that would not be my thing.
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34 RunEatRepeat August 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Okay, I get you now :)
Do your thing girl, actually if/when you go for it I’ll photoshop my face in one of your pics saying “MonicaIsNotImpressed” a la Mckayla Is Not Impressed. Ha!
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35 Rachel Wilkerson August 13, 2012 at 4:56 pm

hahaha…LIKE.
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36 Krissy @ Shiawase Life August 13, 2012 at 4:36 pm

We didn’t – we had chocolate cake…that would’ve been kinda gross, lol!
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37 Kat August 13, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I personally think it’s tacky and immature and cringe whenever I see it. But to each their own.

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38 Rachel Wilkerson August 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I’ve made it pretty clear to Eric that smashing cake in my face at our wedding is grounds for an instant annulment.

I don’t mind when other couples do it because they always seem to be having fun with it, but it’s just not me at all.
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39 Meghann August 13, 2012 at 5:06 pm

100% agree it depends on the couple.

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40 Kim@hungryhealthygirl August 13, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Definitely want to be the smasher. But, also want to be the feedee! :-)
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41 Gwen August 13, 2012 at 5:27 pm

If my husband had smashed the cake we would have needed an annulment right then and there!
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42 BroccoliHut August 13, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Interesting topic! Both my mom and Seth have already requested that I not smash the cake at our wedding, so I’ll follow the rules.
By the way, I love seeing pictures from your parents’ wedding! So nice to see that little bit of family history tied to your big day :)
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43 chelsey @ clean eating chelsey August 13, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I was not a fan. The Husband smashed me. I got over it though. It was pretty funny!
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44 JessicaE August 13, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Definitely not a fan! I hate my hands/face being sticky or dirty on a normal day… my wedding day would have been even worse. :P

As for everyone else., I have seen couples do a little dab on the nose and then eat it nicely… I think that’s cute. Anymore just makes me glad it isn’t me!

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45 CampingGirl August 13, 2012 at 8:50 pm

We didn’t do the cake cutting thing at our wedding.
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46 Michelle @ A Healthy Mrs August 13, 2012 at 9:23 pm

I’m also not a fan of the smash, but actually we didn’t even do the whole “feeding each other cake” thing. Just felt weird and contrived, and not us at all.

To each their own!
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47 Jenny August 13, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Cake smashing is not for me. It just seems somewhat disrespectful and a waste of perfectly delicious cake. Plus, my mother would kill me if I did it! However, more and more couples are doing it, and to each their own.

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48 Laura August 13, 2012 at 9:40 pm

To each heron, but I think it’s disrespectful..to the day, the cake, the effort and money put into the hair, makeup and dress… I don’t get it. It just looks gross.

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49 Meghann August 13, 2012 at 9:46 pm

The way I see it, the hair and make-up are pretty much done by the time you cut the cake anyways, I mean you’re going to have the wipe the make-up off/ take your hair down eventually. And I’ve realized from the weddings I’ve attended recently that it’s impossible to keep your dress clean. My sister-in-law dropped chicken marsala on her dress during the meal and my sister accidentally got stamped on the dance floor. Things happen, whether you mean for them to or not. Might as well embrace it and smile along the way. :)

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50 Laura August 14, 2012 at 11:35 am

Fair enough! I think it really is up to each couple. While it would feel disrespectful to me, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suit your personalities and the couple you are. It’s your day, and you should do whatever seems fun and makes it a joyous occasion!

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51 Janna W. August 13, 2012 at 10:01 pm

We teamed up on the best man and maid of honor. They had NO CLUE. My husband and I got this idea from our premarital councilors. I think someone above in the comments mentioned this but its supposedly symbolism of how you promise to care for the other person and nourish them physically, spiritually etc. After hearing that, I couldn’t bring myself to cake smash (and I had really looked forward to it before). So our couple suggested teaming up and smashing some one else. We decided to go for the best man and maid of honor. Our bridal party surrounded us while we ‘shared’ cupcakes. Instead went right past each other and straight for them! Our videographers were the only ones in on it and caught all the footage. The reactions were priceless. I’d say its true to how we approach our relationship, being a team.

ps. Two days before our wedding we had a pool party with all our family/friends and destroyed a cake pushing it in each others face. We got out the urge to smash each other before “I dos”.

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52 Meghann August 13, 2012 at 10:02 pm

HILARIOUS! Love it!

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53 April August 13, 2012 at 10:03 pm

I told my husband I would stab him if he smashed cake in my face, and he knew I meant it too because we both used the switchblades we had on us to cut the (cup)cake! http://theaprilblake.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/wedding-541.jpg
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54 lauren r. August 13, 2012 at 11:28 pm

We agreed to not smash…Worked for us BUT I was at a wedding a few weeks ago and the couple was preparing to feed each other the cake and the Bride’s sister (who was a bit jealous/hungry for attention that day!) ran up and smashed the cake in their faces…This shocked everyone because clearly this was THEIR moment! Lol, ya never know what is gonna happen at weddings I guess :)

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55 Katie August 13, 2012 at 11:32 pm

We didn’t smash any cake on our wedding day…but we also had a chocolate cake with kahlua creme filling. So, if I had a bunch of dark brown cake/frosting smeared on my dress I would have been crying quite a bit I imagine! ;)
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56 Coco August 14, 2012 at 8:31 am

Absolutely cake smash! It was the most fun :)

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57 Sarah August 14, 2012 at 9:51 am

We had always agreed to smash, then my husband faked a black eye at our rehersal lunch (his bachelor party was the night before). So I smashed cake right in his eye, he fed me nicely and then gave me a big kiss smushing his face (and the cake) all over my face.

It was definitely memorable!

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58 Kristen August 14, 2012 at 10:31 am

Nooo…I think it’s tacky (IMO). I’m all done up and the last thing I want is cake in my face. Everyone was cheering to get us to smash but we had discussed it beforehand and both agreed we didn’t like the idea. So, we did not give in to peer pressure.

I guess it makes everyone else laugh and provides a photo opp, but I would not have thought it was funny!

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59 Katie @ Peace Love and Oats August 14, 2012 at 11:12 am

Haha I’ll go for a mini smash, as long as I don’t end up in the bathroom washing icing off my face, a smash is adorable
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60 Kristin August 14, 2012 at 12:16 pm

We smashed….my in laws told us we had to, because in their family, all the couples who smashed were still married, the ones that didn’t smash are all divorced! So we smashed! Two years in and still going strong :)

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61 Abbey August 14, 2012 at 2:24 pm

My husband and I agreed it would be an all out war if we smashed each other so instead we schemed to get our best man and matron of honor! I had the photographer pose them on either side of us and they were caught completely off guard. We have some hilarious pictures because of it and they were great sports about it :)

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62 Kashi @ Cape Island Runners August 14, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Wow, who knew everyone had such strong feelings? Hubby and I could not really decide what do when discussing beforehand, so we just went with what felt right – which apparently was him feeding me nicely and me doing a lil smushing! But like a previous poster, he then kissed me and we were laughing and enjoying the moment! Super fun :) But agree with everyone above, as long as the couple is cool with what happens, I don’t think it matters which way you go. As with everything in the wedding, it should reflect the couple. As long as that is the case, there is no wrong answer!
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63 Shaunna@mamas13minutemile August 14, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I am for it as well :)

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64 Jess August 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I have been to weddings that have done both. At mine, I told my husband cake smashing was a no go. I didn’t want to be picking it out of my eyelashes, nose, etc. Plus my mom spent a lot of money on my professional make-up for the day.

He did end up accidentally dropping it down my dress though.
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65 LizP August 15, 2012 at 10:31 pm

If one person doesn’t want the cake smashing and the other person does it anyways it is a HUGE RED FLAG. If you aren’t going to respect your new spouse’s wishes on the wedding day, you aren’t going to do it for the marriage. Yikes.

*This is not aimed at Meghan/Derek just at brides and grooms in general.

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66 Sam @ Better With Sprinkles August 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Not married yet, but I think I’m going to go with the sneak attack – I’ll let him delicately feed me, then SMASH! :-) Sneaky.
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67 Crystal August 20, 2012 at 5:43 pm

I hate it. I spent an hour on my makeup that day for the first time ever and if DH would have smashed cake in my face I would have killed him. I had a friend get so violent with it she had cake in her bra when she got undressed that night and she had on a $2,500 dress. Which was now full of chocolate cake. Good luck passing that on to your kids.

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68 Kimberly August 23, 2012 at 2:36 pm

I’ve asked my fiance not to smash cake in my face for our wedding in December. He said “Why would I ruin perfectly good cake?” :) So we’re definitely on the same page. It just seems disrespectful to me, but to each their own.

I think as long as both parties want whatever is happening, then it’s a good thing for them. I’ll never forget when at my cousin’s wedding she was smashed in the face with cake, while she was trying to delicately feed him. She is a sensitive, quiet girl and, although she was trying to laugh and not make a scene, it was written all over her face that she wasn’t happy as he high-fived his friends.

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