If you would have asked me who I would have selected for bridesmaids in high school, I could have easily rattled off a handful of names of all my best girlfriends at the time. If you’d have asked me the same question in college, I probably could have done the same thing. Ask me right after I got engaged? I wasn’t so sure.
Selecting a group of bridesmaids was harder than I thought it would be. I have different sets of girlfriends from each stage of my life (childhood, high school, college, Orlando, and now) all made up of girls that I love and respect dearly. And even though I love them all to pieces – we’re not all as close as we used to be. Long distance relationships are tough and long distance friendships are tougher.
On top of all that, when you ask someone to be a bridesmaid, you’re asking a huge commitment in terms of both time and money. It’s a lot to ask of someone and could put unnecessary pressure on a friendship. Someone really has to know you well to put up with potential bridezilla moments ( not that I’m saying every bride has one, but….) or breakdowns (every bride needs to let it all out over petty things every once in a while).
So, how did I eventually select and ask my bridesmaids? Here’s some thoughts that went in the process.
The first two girls were easy. Kelly was my one and only choice for maid of honor. I know most people would assume the selection was a given considering Kelly is my sister, but it’s more than that – she’s my best friend. She knows me better than anyone else on this planet. We’re closer than typical sisters and I’m so thankful to have her in my life everyday.
My sister-in-law Ashley A. was another obvious choice, but – again – she’s more than just my sister-in-law, she’s a great friend. I was a part of her wedding and I wanted to make her a part of mine.
Confession… I never actually asked Kelly to be my maid of honor. I had it in my head that I wanted to go all out with a really creative, fun way to ask her, but failed to come up with anything worth pursuing. Eventually too much time passed by and it was just assumed that she was (which she is!). There’s still time though, maybe I’ll come up with something. Shhhh… don’t tell her.
I also wanted to come up with a creative way to ask Ashley, but, again, failed. We were at David’s Bridal the week after I got engaged and the consultant was asking if I had any bridesmaids. I said yes and rattled off Ashley’s name as she was standing next to me, then I turned to her and was like “by the way – do you want to be my bridesmaid?” She said yes – thank goodness! – otherwise that would have been a little embarrassing.
I had two girls, but I needed two more. Derek had 4 guys he wanted as groomsmen (his brother, my two brothers, and his friend Steven) and I’m old fashion in the sense that I wanted the sides to be even. I know it’s ok to have uneven sides, but I wanted them to be even.
With family out of the way, who else to choose? There were 4-5 girls I had in mind, but, again, I wanted even numbers. It was hard – very hard – to narrow it down to two. In the end I went with my gut and picked the two girls that were the first girls I called after Derek and I got engaged (because they were the first ones I wanted to know!). Neither of them currently live in Florida, but both are very important to me.
When we were in Key West, I told Derek that I wanted to ask Ashley D. (not to be confused with Ashley A.) to be my bridesmaid. He was like “well, duh!” It’s funny to admit that Ashley and I met via our blogs back in 2010. She introduced herself before the Gridiron Classic in NYC and we ended up running the race together. We chatted the entire four mile run and continued to keep in touch via email after that. Derek and I even ended up staying with her and her husband in NYC following September and have traveled together many times since.
Ashley was just one of those friendships that clicked. Over the course of the two years I’ve known her, she’s become one of my best friends. We probably see each other more than I see my friends from back home and we chat almost daily online. Duh was right.
It was more nerve racking than I originally anticipated to ask Ashley to be a bridesmaid. I felt like I was asking her to the prom and knew she could easily turn me down. I decided to ask her in January, but waited until February so I could ask her face-to-face in NYC. We were on our long run discussing wedding stuff when she asked who my bridesmaids were. Well, there’s my sister….. my sister-in-law…. and…. you? Luckily she said yes.
I had the same case of nerves when I asked my final bridesmaid, Emily. I met Emily back in college. I can remember many nights when it was just the two of us heading out for a night out on the town. It was on one of those nights that she asked Derek to join us.
I had met Derek briefly a few months before (also through Emily), but it was when the three of us went to AJs that I really got to know him. Emily lost us (on purpose?) as soon as we got to AJs and Derek and I ended up spending the entire night dancing to 80s music together. Without Emily, that never would have happened and Derek and I probably would have never got together – it was fate.
Emily lives in Philly now and I don’t get to see her as often as I once did. After weeks of trying to find the right way to ask her, I ended up sending a text (I know – bad Meghann), but it worked out because she ended up saying yes.
So there you go, that’s the very long, rambling story behind my bridesmaids. I have four amazing girls that I can’t wait to have stand by my side on my wedding day.
Now, I just need to find them some bridesmaids dresses.
How did you pick and ask your bridesmaids?