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One More Month

by Meghann on September 10, 2010

Guess where I’ll be exactly one month from today?

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Yep, in only ONE month I’ll be lining up to start the Chicago marathon!!!

Can you believe it?!?! The past two months of training have really flown by.

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Training for this marathon has been tough – hello summer temps and humid runs! – but it’s also been fun – I <3 my HLS and NYC running buddies!

And just like with every marathon I train for, I have learned a few things. Such as Gatorade is my friend and re-evaluating goals doesn’t mean you’re a quitter, in fact, it means you’re a winner. 🙂

I know there’s still a month of training left, but according to my Chicago Training Plan most of the hard stuff is over. I have another 20 miler coming up next weekend (hopefully) and after that it’s taper time!

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Go big or go home! 🙂

I really want to design a shirt for Chicago. Anyone have any cute slogans I should put on there? I want to give people a reason to smile when I leave them in my dust. 😉 or… you know when they leave me in their dust. 😉

Also, who else is running Chicago? I think my Sister and I want to get a meet up together near the expo. Nothing major – maybe Frozen Yogurt? or Coffee? We’re open to suggestions! 🙂

My plan called for weights this morning and that’s what I did. 20 minutes on the elliptical to get the blood pumping then 40 minutes of free weights based loosely on Sarah’s old training plan.

I promise my breakfast tasted a lot better than it looked. 🙂

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But, in my opinion Chocolate Overnight Oats aren’t supposed to look pretty anyways. 😉

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  • 1/2 cup Rolled Oats
  • 1/2 cup Plain yogurt
  • Almond Milk
  • 1 spoonful PB2
  • 1 spoonful Vega Chocolate Smoothie Mix
  • Cacao Nibs
  • Pecans
  • 1/2 peach

With some Uncle Sam’s Cereal for crunch

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The mix of chocolate and peanut butter in the oats reminded me of deconstructed reeses. It was a nice sweet treat to start the morning with. 🙂

Who should keep the ring?

On my way in to work this morning I was listening to a segment of my favorite morning show called ‘Side Takers’ where a couple who are having a disagreement go on the air to each tell their side of the story.  Once each person as pleaded their case the radio listeners get to vote on which side of the story they agree with and who ever they pick the couple has to agree to go with.

This morning’s segment was a little different because it was an ex-couple that were pleading their case over returning an engagement ring. The guy proposed, the woman became obsessed with wedding details, the guy got second doubts,  the guy voiced said doubts, and the woman decided to break it off. Apparently he said something along the lines of ‘I don’t see myself ever getting married’ and she decided she wasn’t going to wait around for him to decide.

Anyways, the guy wants the ring back now. He paid $17,000 (!!) for the engagement ring and is still making payments on it. He would love to sell it and try to pay it back down. The girl refuses to give it back because she said it’s the only thing she has left from the relationship.

I thought the story was pretty interesting and the people who called in to side with one or the other all made great points. Both parties seemed to think the other person was at fault for the end of the engagement. He backed out of the wedding, but she backed out of the relationship.

So, my questions for you is… Who do you think should keep the ring? The guy or the girl?

I’ll let you know who the radio audience sided with at lunch time. 🙂

1 Mindy @ just a one girl revolution. September 10, 2010 at 9:12 am

I think she should give it back. Personally, I wouldn’t want that reminder of a relationship that didn’t work out!
Mindy @ just a one girl revolution. recently posted..who dat

2 Debbie~ September 10, 2010 at 9:13 am

An engagement ring is given in contemplation of marriage…if there isn’t a marriage, she should give back the ring…poor guy:)

3 Gina September 10, 2010 at 9:21 am

If she ever gets married, how do you think her husband would react to the fact that she kept her ex’s engagement ring? The ring is a commitment to that person, since the relationship ended, there’s no reason to keep it.
Gina recently posted..Six Miles and A Wedding

4 Sarah September 10, 2010 at 9:24 am

I’m running Chicago!!! I’d love to do a meet-up!

5 kristy @ kristyruns.com September 10, 2010 at 9:25 am

I wish i was registered for the chicago marathon! Doing one in south carolina at the end of october. …maybe next year. 🙂

Umm….the guy should definitely get the ring back. Who really thinks its a good idea to spend that much on a ring?!?! Insane! Wow.
kristy @ kristyruns.com recently posted..A Taste of Fall

6 Carolyn @ lovinlosing September 10, 2010 at 9:26 am

Normally I’d say she should get to keep it since he is the one that ended the engagement. However, $17,000, is a ridiculous amount of money. I’d say give it back with a written agreement that when he sells it he pays her back for any lost $ spent on deposits or other wedding related expenses.
Carolyn @ lovinlosing recently posted..Progress or lack there of

7 Stacey September 10, 2010 at 9:27 am

The girl should totally keep the ring. After all, an engagement ring is sort of like a gift I guess. The man is giving it to the woman as a sign of a lifetime committment, right? I would want to keep the ring, especially if he paid $17,000 for it!! Haha, jk (I think 😉 ) But that’s crazy! That’s going a little overboard if you ask me..but to each his own 🙂
Stacey recently posted..My Most Memorable Exercise Moments

8 Stacey September 10, 2010 at 9:29 am

Actually, I’ve changed my mind. She should give the ring back. Why keep it anyway? There will be another guy coming along with another ring eventually, and maybe that will be the one that she wants to keep (the guy I mean, not the ring)
Stacey recently posted..My Most Memorable Exercise Moments

9 Maribeth September 10, 2010 at 9:30 am

She should give it back. She broke off the relationship, so he deserves it back. I wouldn’t want to keep an engagement ring from an ex-fiance!

10 Kelly September 10, 2010 at 9:30 am

Unless it was given on a birthday, christmas, v-day, anniversary etc and can be considered a gift, it should be given back. Why would you even want a reminder of a failed relationship anyway? Fun fact, I was engaged for a little bit when I was 18 and stupid and I tried to give the ring back three years later when it ended but my ex told me to keep it.

11 Susan September 10, 2010 at 9:34 am

I’m running Chicago! A meet-up would be fun. 🙂

I don’t understand why women from broken engagements keep the ring…why would you want it?? While it is a “gift,” it’s a gift confirming your relationship and future, and if that commitment is off (no matter who breaks it), I don’t think the woman should keep the ring. Especially if the ring cost that much money!
Susan recently posted..NYC firsts- riding the bus and NYC running co run!

12 Lisa September 10, 2010 at 9:34 am

Absolutely she should give it back!! I had an engagement that ended and didn’t even think twice about giving the ring back! What was I (or she) going to do? Keep wearing it? I dont think so…. 🙂

13 leanne September 10, 2010 at 9:41 am

I think she should give it back – if she is done with the relationship she shouldn’t want that big of a reminder.
leanne recently posted..Confessions of a Groupie

14 Meghan September 10, 2010 at 9:42 am

$17,000 is just ridiculous!!! She should give it back! Breach of contract on her part. Actually my fiance was engaged before and she cheated, he got the ring back. He traded it in and had a nice chunk to put towards mine.

15 Louise September 10, 2010 at 9:53 am

I would hazard a guess that if “the only thing she has left from the relationship” was a $5 nickel-plated necklace she’d have thrown it in his face when she ended said relationship. I think keeping it is weird and probably realistically very spiteful.
Also $17,000 – yowzers!!

16 Amy @ForDGRedial September 10, 2010 at 9:54 am

If it was me I would want to keep it, or sell it/re-model it – not for the memory of him but out of spite, because I’d see myself as ‘the victim’.

Amy x

17 megabrooke September 10, 2010 at 9:56 am

i’m running chicago too, and planning to meet up with a few people saturday as well. let me know what you think!

18 Melissa September 10, 2010 at 9:59 am

She should give it back. Legally, he has an absolute right to the ring because they never got married, an engagement ring is a promise to marry – no marriage no keeping the ring.

19 SaraRM September 10, 2010 at 10:00 am

She should definitely give it back! Thats just ridiculous for her to keep it (IMO). Unless the break up is a dirty one involving cheating etc, I think it should always be given back. MOVE ON CHICK! 🙂

20 Mimi September 10, 2010 at 10:04 am

Without a doubt she should give the ring back. They both sound a little ridiculous, but especially with $17,000 on the line it’s just the right thing to do.
Mimi recently posted..Friday Fragments- Another story of inspiration

21 Molly September 10, 2010 at 10:07 am

Personally I think she should have the right to keep the ring. If he didn’t want to get married, then that’s him pulling out of the engagement-side of things. And I would end the relationship too. I consider the ring a gift- sorry, but a “ring” is not a legally binding contract. (And even if it was, he pulled out!)

22 Amanda September 10, 2010 at 10:20 am

I actually learned about this in a business law class when I was in college. If the ring was given on a holiday/ birthday, legally she has the right to keep it as it was a gift. If the ring was given on any other day, the ring only becomes hers once the promise of marriage is fulfilled. If she doesn’t marry him for whatever reason, the ring is still his.
Amanda recently posted..Double Figure 8 Race- Demolition Derby

23 Julie September 10, 2010 at 11:36 am

That’s really interesting to me, from a legal perspective, because it was an engagement ring – not a wedding ring. He proposed to her, she accepted. Thus, they’re engaged. Isn’t that the extent of the required fulfillment? Since he broke off the engagement, I would think she would be entitled to the ring, becuase she did fulfill the engagement by accepting (saying yes).

Not trying to bully, I’m just really curious:)

24 Julie September 10, 2010 at 11:38 am

All of that said, if I was in that girl’s shoes, I would TOTALLY give it back:)

25 Amanda September 11, 2010 at 6:47 am

I took the class way back in the beginning of my sophomore year. That was a while ago at this point so maybe I don’t remember the details correctly, but I’m pretty sure this is what we were taught.

26 Breanne September 10, 2010 at 10:26 am

omygosh that ring story is terrible! that woman should totally give it back!

27 Sarah @ EatRunGarden September 10, 2010 at 10:28 am

The only way she would have the legal right to keep the ring is if it was given to as a present like Christmas or her birthday, other wise legally it is his. Also I think that if she is the one that called for the wedding then she should give it back.

28 Marina September 10, 2010 at 10:32 am

Hm. I don’t know. I think she should return it.
Why would she want a reminder of something that went sooo down the drain, I know I wouldn’t.
And I would feel bad about keeping it while my ex is in money problems because of it
Marina recently posted..night troubles

29 Katie September 10, 2010 at 10:35 am

I think she should give it back. A similar situation actually happened to one of my family members….actually scratch that. The same exact thing happened to one of my family members. And it was called off…the NIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING.
Katie recently posted..Emergencies

30 Jillian @ Reshape Your Life September 10, 2010 at 10:36 am

Having been in a similar situation I would say give the ring back. She’ll be better off without it. Cut the drama cut off ties and move on.

Granted my story was a little different… But I still gave the ring back.
Jillian @ Reshape Your Life recently posted..Progress!!

31 Paula September 10, 2010 at 10:36 am

An engagement ring is just that. A symbol of your engagement and future plans to spend the rest of your life with someone. If they are no longer getting married (regardless of whose idea it was), the ring should be given back. I think it’s incredibly tacky and shows a great lack of class that she even wants to keep it. The guy is probably lucky he’s not marrying her, if that shows where her priorities lie.

(wow, opinionated much? lol)

32 Biz September 10, 2010 at 10:48 am

Sadly I think an engagement ring is considered a gift, and therefore does not have to be returned.

Wow, a $17k ring! That’s crazy!
Biz recently posted..Golden Apple Sauce and I Need Your Help

33 Carly (Swim, Run, Om) September 10, 2010 at 10:52 am

I wouldn’t give the ring back, but I wouldn’t keep it, either. eBay, baby! And then a nice cruise or something.

Not the legal or necessarily ethical thing to do, but it’s the FUN thing to do! 😉
Carly (Swim, Run, Om) recently posted..Establishing a routine

34 Molly September 10, 2010 at 11:02 am

Haha I’m with you, girl!
Molly recently posted..A Messy Divorce

35 Lindsey @ Gingerbread Bagels September 10, 2010 at 10:53 am

Good luck with the marathon, you going to do amazing! 🙂

I think she should definitely give the ring back since they’re no longer engaged.

36 Heather @ Side of Sneakers September 10, 2010 at 10:58 am

I think she should give it back- but I think technically in legal world it’s hers to keep since he gifted it to her. But seriously, you obviously loved the guy enough to say yes. Give him the ring back!
Heather @ Side of Sneakers recently posted..3 Common Running Injuries &amp How to Stop Them Before They Stop You

37 Kristina @ spabettie September 10, 2010 at 11:00 am

absolutely give the ring back – it’s not a “gift” in that case…

what if the ring were a family heirloom, which would have a “value” of much more than a monetary one… you couldn’t keep that.

Why would someone WANT to keep it? People that know her probably would agree it’s not right, and anyone new that would ask… what is the story? Certainly wouldn’t help in the moving on process.

38 betsy September 10, 2010 at 11:01 am

I’m running Chicago too! can’t believe it’s so close…

Do you know the Running Couple? They have Twitter t-shirts. I want to make my own with my name on nike.com. Maybe ‘go big or go home’ should be your slogan?? I am putting the 10-10-10 somewhere on mine!

My running blog:
http://www.betsyrunsamarathon.blogspot.com

39 Meghann September 10, 2010 at 11:15 am

Yes! I saw their twitter ts! I wanted something to wear during the race though 🙂

I didn’t know you could make shirts at nike.com – checking that out right now.

40 Nicole September 10, 2010 at 11:02 am

I would be tempted to keep it and sell it and then buy myself something really awesome, but I think that’d be pretty horrible of me. I’d give it back.
Nicole recently posted..REUNITED!

41 Rachel Sanchez September 10, 2010 at 11:05 am

Funny, I was just discussing this topic because I personally know someone going through it. I’ve read that if the couple is just engaged, then the wrongful party does not keep the ring. So if the guy cheats on the girl, she gets to keep the ring. However, if the couple is already married — the State of NJ (among other states) states that since it is a gift, even if the wife was wrong, she keeps the ring. I think that’s wac.

42 Liz September 10, 2010 at 11:06 am

If she broke it off, she needs to give the ring back. Can’t believe they spent $17,000 on a ring!!

43 Michelle September 10, 2010 at 11:06 am

I love XL’s Side Takers! I didnt get to hear this one today! Dang! Luckily you posted it because its obv a good one. The girl should def give the ring back. No matter what the price. Its the right thing to do no matter what the price of the ring.
Michelle recently posted..Friday Misc

44 Caitlin September 10, 2010 at 11:10 am

If the girl has any freaking decency, she should give the ring back. SHE called of the wedding!

45 Meghann September 10, 2010 at 11:21 am

He call off the wedding, she called off the relationship after he called off the wedding. If they weren’t getting married anymore she didn’t see the point of still being together.

46 Maia @ A Healthier Maria September 10, 2010 at 11:12 am

I guess technically the ring is hers since he GAVE it to her but she should really just give it back. You don’t need a $17,000 ring to remember your relationship. The guy kind of sounds like he sucks but she should be the bigger person & move on.

47 Sarah September 10, 2010 at 11:13 am

I think an engagement ring is a gift, and she has the right to keep it. However, the mature thing to do is to return the ring. If she can’t do that, they at least ought to sell the ring and split the cost. I’m sure the bride put in plenty of money invested in the wedding, so that seems like the fair thing to do.

48 Sammy September 10, 2010 at 11:16 am

The guy should get it back! Why would she want it anyway – what is she gonna do with it? She can hardly wear it can she?!
Sammy recently posted..All about Pudding Tummy

49 Erin September 10, 2010 at 11:17 am

Ahhh! One month til Chicago! I’m running it, too. It will be my first marathon. Actually, if you want some cool stats about the marathon, check out one of my recent posts. My running group had the Chicago Marathon race director come speak to us and he told us some interesting stuff.

As for the ring debate, I say she should give it back. I’m with all the people wondering why she wants a reminder of a failed relationship anyway. Take a picture of it and move on.
Erin recently posted..An Alternate Track

50 Leah @ L4L September 10, 2010 at 11:18 am

Oh come on, give the damn ring back.

I think it might be different if the guy was loaded and the girl was broke but obviously he isn’t if he is making payments.

51 Tiffany (Stuffed with Fluff) September 10, 2010 at 11:19 am

She should give the ring back. Why does she need a reminder of a relationship that didn’t work out? Plus, who’s to say she doesn’t try to sell it later on?

52 Sara C. September 10, 2010 at 11:20 am

When I was in law school, we were taught specifically that the woman, by law, has to return the ring if the engagement is cancelled, it is not considered a gift but rather consideration for a promise ot marry. If they don’t marry, he gets the ring back, end of story.

Further, I don’t know why you would want to keep the ring. The only motivating factor is greed. Obviously she doesn’t want a reminder of what wasn’t on her finger (or in her jewerly box) everday, she just wants the money.

53 Tina September 10, 2010 at 11:20 am

How exciting!!!! It’s going to be here so fast!

And she keeps the ring. If he was so uncertain, he shouldn’t have bought it to begin with. He gave it to her and even though she ended it, it was because of HIS lack of commitment. It’s ALL hers. Although I say not as a token of the relationship. Cash that sucker in! LOL
Tina recently posted..30 days of self love – Perfection

54 Kristina September 10, 2010 at 11:20 am

The guy should get it back, for sure!! Why does she want a ring from a relationship that clearly did not work?! She needs to let go and move on!!

55 Tabitha September 10, 2010 at 11:21 am

She needs to give it back..isn’t it usually customary that if she broke it off she needs to return it and if he broke it off then she keeps it? That’s what I’ve always heard. Why would you want to keep something as a reminder of what was when it will just be something that lives in your jewelry box when/if you become engaged again.

56 erin September 10, 2010 at 11:24 am

1. 17K for a ring??
2. making payments on a ring??
3. proposing to someone just to tell them you “don’t see yourself ever getting married”?

to answer the question though, i think she should give it back. why would you want that reminder? and what is she going to do with it? sell it? wear it on her right hand? (woah this comment has a lot of question marks!)

57 Marg September 10, 2010 at 11:27 am

I say give it back! The wedding didn’t happen and they both broke it off.

58 kim September 10, 2010 at 11:29 am

I think that you shouldn’t give people things you can’t afford. Not that you should plan on the marriage/engagement ending – but you shouldn’t go into debt for this stuff, it’s stupid. I don’t actually know how much my fiance spent on my ring, but if I ever found out he spent $17K, I’d kick his butt good, LOL.

And I do agree with her – he actually called it off by telling her, he didn’t think he saw himself getting married. I’m sorry…but if we get to the point where you propose and we are planning and we end it…then I think you have in effect ended the relationship. If you backed out once, no telling when and if you’ll back out again and that’s not fair to ask someone to deal with that indefinitely. So I think he did end it.

As for ownership of the ring – I think she has the right to keep it, although I don’t know why she would want to and what she would do with it. Other than sell it and use the cash.

59 ashleigh September 10, 2010 at 11:31 am

10-10-10 is the best day for a marathon… and wedding 🙂

I think she should give it back. Especially since they are not getting married and he is still making payments on it.. that just seems really unfair!
ashleigh recently posted..Protein Cravings

60 Therese September 10, 2010 at 11:33 am

I’ve been in almost that exact same position… except the ring didn’t cost that much lol! I certainly loved my ex, and breaking up our engagement was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do (and the week leading up to that decision was one of the worse weeks of my life). I loved the ring, but of course the courteous thing to do was to return it and let him sell it for what money he could… although you end up losing money no matter what.

If the relationship on the radio was for any length of time, there’s no way it’s the ONLY memento of their time together. I still have a box of little notes, an inbox of e-mails, and even a nice necklace I still like to wear.

Weather it’s legally “hers” or not, the courteous human thing to do is return it to the person who bought it.
Therese recently posted..Double-Chocolate Single-Chin Brownies

61 Megan (Running Foodie) September 10, 2010 at 11:33 am

That’s a tough one! Normally, I would say that if SHE called it off then she should give the ring back (alternatively, if HE called it off, I think she has the right to keep it). However, in this case it sounds like he was going to call it off ANYWAY, she just beat him to it! But since the ring is SO expensive, I think it’s only right that she give it back in this case.
Megan (Running Foodie) recently posted..Off

62 Jocelyn September 10, 2010 at 11:38 am

What if they sold the ring and split the money?? That seems like a compromise? Isn’t compromise the key to a good relationship……

63 LindsayH September 10, 2010 at 11:38 am

I feel that if she wants to keep it, she should. It was a gift. It’s not her fault the guy bought a ring he obviously couldn’t afford. And even if it was her “fault” (like she wanted a super expensive ring or he thought she wouldn’t want to marry him without an extravagant diamond), he should have thought about that before he went through with the proposal!

64 Samantha Angela @ Bikini Birthday September 10, 2010 at 11:38 am

She should return the ring. It’s a bit ridiculous to keep it as a memento of their relationship. I’m sure that there are plenty of other things that would remind her of the relationship. I think it’s bullshit and she probably just wants to keep the ring to make him suffer for not wanting to marry her.

…but he was pretty stupid for spending so much on a ring in the first place.
Samantha Angela @ Bikini Birthday recently posted..faces of beauty

65 Cynthia (It All Changes) September 10, 2010 at 11:39 am

My honest opinion is they should sell it to pay off any broken deposits for wedding stuff since he backed out and then he can use the rest to pay off part of the ring. If she had broken the engagement I’d say just give it back.

66 Julie @ Peanut Butter Fingers September 10, 2010 at 11:41 am

the guy gets the ring – hand’s down.
Julie @ Peanut Butter Fingers recently posted..Cocoa Overload

67 Mary September 10, 2010 at 11:44 am

I’m running chicago this fall too! I’d love to do a meetup with you and your sis 🙂

68 Erin September 10, 2010 at 11:45 am

First off…he shouldn’t have paid that much for a ring!!! That’s crazy ridiculous.

Second, she should give it back. She probably only wants it so she can sell it. Why would she want to keep an engagement ring from a failed engagement? Although the ring is supposed to be a gift, I don’t really think that the girl should keep it.

69 Tracey @ TropicalHappiness September 10, 2010 at 11:45 am

Legally, I think she has to give it back. In the case of most gifts, they are just that- gifts- and property of the recipient. But an engagement ring is given as a promise to get married. If the marriage is not going to happen, the ring belongs to the person who buys it.

Legal stuff aside, if she breaks off the engagement, she should give the ring back. If he breaks it off, he should say that she can keep it. Or in an ideal world, sell it and split the money.

70 Sarah for Real September 10, 2010 at 11:47 am

I suppose if the guy is that dumb to choose a woman who requires a $17,000 ring, that’s an expensive lesson to learn. Choose wisely next time!

But of course, if the girl wasn’t a total wack job, she would give the ring back. But if she wasn’t a total wack job, they probably would have been able to actually get married!

71 Sarah for Real September 10, 2010 at 11:48 am

P.S. I watched Spirit of the Marathon this weekend (about Chicago) and I’m SO impressed. It looks like it’ll be a life changing experience!

72 Miranda @ MirandasJeans September 10, 2010 at 11:57 am

Normally I would say that it is a gift given to the woman, but 17,000$ OUCH! Give that ring back. Nothing wrose than spending that kind of money and not even getting to catch glimpses and glimmers of it throughout your every day life.

Plus she broke up with him by ending the relationship, so I think she sould give it back. Lots of people put off their wedding plans, that doesn’t mean that the relationship is over just because the wedding has been put on the backburner.

Plus what is she planning on doing with the ring? It’s not like she is going to keep wearing it. And doubtful that the uber expensive ring is the only thing she has left from the relationship that she ended. No pictures sweetheart? And in my view if you want something to hold onto a memory of the relationship that you ended, 17,000$ is a little more of a keepsake than you need.

73 Bee Goes Bananas September 10, 2010 at 11:59 am

I think she should give it back. Unless the guy did something rediculous or was the sole reason for the relationship failing (cheating, for instance), she should give it back to him. It’s weird that she would want to keep it in the first place!
Bee Goes Bananas recently posted..Wild Wednesday

74 Jenn September 10, 2010 at 12:02 pm

I think he should get the ring back. The guy sounds like a jerk though. It sounds to me like she is just trying to stick it to him.

75 Sarah R September 10, 2010 at 12:17 pm

He totally gets the ring. I just don’t understand women who want to keep the ring from a bad relationship.

76 Laura September 10, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Normally I think she should keep it because it’s a gift, and he was also the one to back out of the wedding. However, that’s an insane amount of money to spend on a ring. It just doesn’t seem right for her to keep it. I agree with one of the comments that he should have to help pay back any lost deposits and expenses for the canceled wedding with whatever he makes back from selling the ring though!

77 Kelley September 10, 2010 at 12:22 pm

$17,000??? She should definitely give back the ring. That poor guy. No matter who’s fault it was, that’s more than I paid for a brand new car!

78 Reenie September 10, 2010 at 12:22 pm

I think she should give the ring back.

79 katie September 10, 2010 at 12:22 pm

She should give the ring back, primarily because the guy is still making payments on it. I think I read once that engagement rings were also a symbol of the guys financial security, which is why ‘bigger is better,’ but I might have that wrong! I think if the ring had been paid off it might be a different story and she could have kept it, but unfortunately for her…

80 Rachel @ Fit Fun and Fabulous September 10, 2010 at 12:27 pm

I vote for giving it back.

81 Lauren @ Running Examiner September 10, 2010 at 12:31 pm

I’m very confused as to why she’d want to keep the ring — I can’t imagine wanting to have a tangible (although very lovely, I’m sure) reminder of a relationship that ended badly. That being said, he sounded like kind of an ass, and I sort of feel like he should cut his losses, substantial as they may be. Why agree to marriage when you can never envision yourself being married??? Umm, and why spend that much on a ring if, again, you can never envision yourself being married? Very immature.
Lauren @ Running Examiner recently posted..Hoboken resident competes in Ironman

82 Lauren @ Running Examiner September 10, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Hmm, okay, I was a little judge-y there! He may not have been an ass, just misguided about marriage. We all make mistakes — some more costly than others.
Lauren @ Running Examiner recently posted..Hoboken resident competes in Ironman

83 Evan Thomas September 10, 2010 at 12:34 pm

She wants a reminder of a relationship that’s gone and it’s sending him to the poor house? Sounds like a spiteful ex to me. Give him the ring!

84 Kristen September 10, 2010 at 12:40 pm

Why she would want to keep the ring just makes me shake my head, but the ring should be returned to him so that he may pay the debt. I myself have been through a divorce and I had a beautiful ring that my ex-husband had given me and after thing had been settled between the two of us I offered to sell the ring and split the money two ways. I knew in my heart that there would no way I could wear that ring without feeling like we had failed. My vote is for the guy on this one!

85 Lisa September 10, 2010 at 12:42 pm

First, $17K for a ring is absurd and it’s his own fault for spending that much money! What a waste! My opinion is, if the girl calls off the engagement she gives back the ring. If the guy does–oh well! It was a gift. He shouldn’t have proposed if he wasn’t gonna follow through.
Lisa recently posted..It’s Time for Cycling Season!

86 Heather September 10, 2010 at 12:46 pm

She should definitely give it back, $17K is way too much for her to expect to keep it.

87 Paige (Running Around Normal) September 10, 2010 at 12:46 pm

I may be a bit late, but I love the new layout for the blog, Meghann!
Hands down if the marriage is off, so is the ring! The ring means marriage, and the marriage is no more!

88 Lauren September 10, 2010 at 12:49 pm

How exciting that Chicago is coming up!!!

Hmmm, great question. I think the ring should stay with the woman. I mean it was given to her. It was a gift. Unless she chooses to give it back, the guy shouldn’t expect it back.
Lauren recently posted..Many Mishaps

89 Dido September 10, 2010 at 12:51 pm

I’m totally with the guy on this one.

90 Brandy September 10, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Call us morbid – or realistic – but my husband and I had an agreement during our engagement that continues into our married lives. If he called it off, I got to keep the diamond. If I called it off, I had to give the ring back. Basically, the one that bails loses the investment.

Thankfully, I don’t see us needing this arrangement, but it took the issue off the table. And we’re both all for planning for disaster and being pleasantly surprised and happy when you don’t need the plan. It’s less painful and emotional than the alternative (having no plan and hurting each other senselessly!).

Oh, and if the guy is smart…there’s precedence on this issue. http://www.jud.ct.gov/LawLib/Notebooks/Pathfinders/Marry.PDF
He can sue to get it back, and he’ll probably win.

91 Sandy September 10, 2010 at 12:59 pm

I know you’ll do fantastic in Chicago!!
First off why would someone spend that much on a ring?! Crazy world..and she should give the ring back~the Wedding didn’t happen..it’s not like they were married for year’s and divorced..if she has a conscience..

92 andrea @ Food Not Fuss September 10, 2010 at 1:24 pm

Isn’t there some ‘rule’ that an engagement ring should be worth the equivalent of three months of the guy’s salary? While I personally find that CrAzYcAkEs, I guess for some people, with high-paying jobs, $17,000 would be a reasonable price to pay. (Personally I’d prefer to spend that on a honeymoon and a home down-payment, but whatevs!)

Anyway, in my opinion, there’s never a good reason for the girl to keep the ring if the engagement ends, regardless of who ended it or why. Earrings or other jewelerry, sure, but given that the engagement ring is a SYMBOL of a promise, returning it is a SYMBOL of ending that promise.
andrea @ Food Not Fuss recently posted..Kir Royale – A Cocktail Fit For A 30th Birthday

93 Brie @ Brie Fit September 10, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Your post just scared the bejeezus out of me! I’m running Chicago in a month and I feel totally unprepared thanks to some injuries along the way. I’d love to know about any get togethers, though!

In law school, we actually had a whole day of Property class dedicated to engagement rings. The actual winner of the ring depends on whether the state recognizes the doctrine of promissory gifts or not. In some states, the girl keeps it, but in others she has to give it back!
Brie @ Brie Fit recently posted..Travel season

94 AnneWF September 10, 2010 at 2:14 pm

An engagement ring is a promise of marriage and that promise was broken so she should give the ring back. The man must have been possessed to spend that much on a ring. I know he purchased the ring but what if it was a family heirloom? Would she have given it back or would she have kept it?

95 Andrea September 10, 2010 at 2:14 pm

SHE should give back the ring and that would go for any situation like that regardless of the value. He paid for it. Women are witches sometimes.

96 Cat September 10, 2010 at 2:20 pm

I think that she should definitely give it back! Feeling entitled to the ring because it’s a gift is CRAZY! Despite the failed relationship and he said/she said about who ended the relationship, it doesn’t seem fair to punish him with payments for a ring that she is going to (likely) keep in a drawer or re-model. Honestly not sure how that girl feels justified and how she sleeps at night. Promises are one thing, but why punish an ex in the neighborhood of 17K?
Cat recently posted..My Own Bay to Breakers- Or Recipe for a Perfect Saturday

97 Alison (Fueling for Fitness) September 10, 2010 at 2:33 pm

I am running Chicago too – my first marathon and it’s on my 26th birthday (eee!!!).

I’m super nervous, but it’s been awesome reading along with your training. I really hope you get a BQ!!! 🙂 As for myself, I really hope I make it to the finish line still standing! 🙂
Alison (Fueling for Fitness) recently posted..Avocado and Sour Cream Banana Bread

98 Nichole September 10, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Chitown is going to be AWESOME. Really wishing you loads of luck, how fun!! I’ll think about a fun t-shirt, you see so many during the race.
Nichole recently posted..Who Needs a Pep Talk

99 Kelly September 10, 2010 at 2:46 pm

I side with Judge Judy on this one – the ring is conditional gift, if the marriage doesn’t happen, the ring goes back.

100 melissa September 10, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Ionce read that an engagement ring should cost 3-4 months salary. The cheapest ring at tiffany’s is 20,000! Glad I’m a girl!

101 Anne @ a daily slice September 10, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Um, she should give it back. Why does she (1) want to remember the relationship and (2) put someone through that much financial hardship?? This just makes me sad. He might has well have paid her 20k for the months they were dating.

Sorry that was harsh–I just never understand why people want to keep the ring after the fact.

102 Gwen September 10, 2010 at 3:10 pm

I’m getting married on 10.10.10. and I can’t believe it is a month away! If I lived in Chicago I think I’d be going crazy with all of the signs everywhere! SO EXCITING! Running Chicago is a goal someday! Good luck!

I think that she should give it back simply so she can move on. And it sounds like she is the one who decided to leave…but that’s a tough one!
Gwen recently posted..I Am Pumpkin Spice’s Biatch

103 Caitlin (EatFeats) September 10, 2010 at 4:24 pm

I think it is funny that he spent 17,000 dollars on a ring when (it seems like) he didn’t even want to get married. Probably if you spend 17,000 on something, you should be pretty certain of its success.

Her spiteful actions are probably stemming from how embarrassed and hurt she feels, and I think we can all sympathize with that. Still, I think giving it back might be the morally upright thing to do. Or selling it.
Caitlin (EatFeats) recently posted..The difference between men and women

104 Samantha September 12, 2010 at 12:41 pm

I’ve always read that the person that gets dumped keeps the ring. So if SHE called off the wedding, he gets the ring back and if he calls it off, she keeps it.

105 shelly@campinggirlchronicals September 12, 2010 at 4:45 pm

This just happened to a friend of mine and she kept the ring, she sold it and put the money towards the downpayments for the venue etc… he broke off the engagement. (You only get back about a 1/4 of what you bought the ring)

Personally I LOVE my ring and would never give it back… I would make it into a right hand ring.
shelly@campinggirlchronicals recently posted..Girls Weekend Part 1

106 April B. September 12, 2010 at 8:09 pm

I’m running Chicago and would for sure be interested in some type of meet up! Hope to see you and Kelly there!
April B. recently posted..C’mon Fall!

107 kilax September 14, 2010 at 4:35 pm

I am running Chicago too.

Give the ring back! hee hee 🙂

108 Lacey @ Lake Life September 17, 2010 at 10:48 am

I think the “dumpee” should get to keep the ring. If they guy breaks it off, the girl keeps the ring. If the girl breaks it off, the guy gets the ring back.

That being said, I think it’s weird that the girl considers the ring to be the only thing she has left from the relationship. Very superficial.
Lacey @ Lake Life recently posted..Seneca Park Zoo

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