Many of you have come to know this girl…
Me shy? Pshhh….
I’m Meghann, I’m awesome and I’m not afraid to say it.
But, as I mentioned on Tuesday – that wasn’t always me.
Enter sixteen year old Meghann.
Awkward, unsure of her friends and unsure of herself Meghann.
I wanted to fit in with the in crowd so bad that I became a follower instead of a leader. I dressed like everyone else, I listened to the same music, and I went to the same parties. But, I never felt like I was one of everyone else.
When friends got together and didn’t call me, I would become an emotional wreck. I would immediately assume it was because they really didn’t like me. I spent many nights in high school curling up into a ball and crying because I hated the way I Iooked. I thought I was too fat, I thought I was too short, I thought I wasn’t pretty. There were too many negative thoughts running through my head and I couldn’t control them.
Here comes college Meghann.
Same insecurities – different venue.
College was a whirlwind of frat guys, late parties, too much junk food, and not enough good food. I lost weight. I gained weight. I stopped looking in mirrors. I stopped taking pictures.
I smiled a lot, but deep down I wasn’t happy. My mind was wrapped around guys, which is far from where it needed to be during that time in life. Judging myself by how guys judged me led to too many low cut tees and too many short skirts. Wearing clothes that were too revealing tried to make up for the insecurities I was having with my own body. It didn’t work. That never works.
Post- college Meghann.
Now, this Meghann lived in the real world. All of a sudden things began to click.
I started a job and I gained weight. Instead of wallowing in it, I decided to make a change. If I don’t see myself as beautiful then when will everyone else see it?
For the first time in my life it was all about me. What did I want to do? What did I want to eat? What did I need to do to make this better? So, I ran. I cooked. And I finally opened up enough to let people see the true Meghann – not the Meghann I thought everyone else wanted to see.
It took me a while, but I gained that self confidence I had been missing for so many years.
Operation Beautiful is more than just changing the way we see ourselves one post-it note at a time – it’s also about achieving that confidence in being ourselves and not what we think others want us to be.
One day I hope to spread that same message to my future little girls. I want them to be strong, I want them to be confident, and I want them to be brave. I already know they’ll be beautiful – we’re all beautiful – I’ll just have to remind them of that every day, just like I want to remind all of you.
So, I challenge everyone to take the time and remind someone they’re beautiful with an Operation Beautiful post it today. Sometimes we tend to forget these things, but it never stops it from being true.